Category — Who decided I should be a journalist?

UPDATE: The extended version is up (same link). Whee!

I interviewed Stuff White People Like author, Christian Lander, last week and although it was pretty awkward what with my insistence on asking him “funny” questions and then not really listening to the answers because I was too busy trying to write them down without using my broken pinky - he was very gracious and I managed to get a good interview out of it. You can read the abbreviated version here on The Mercury’s new and improved website where you can now leave comments on my articles! And on other people’s too, I suppose, but this is my blog and it’s about me. Just like everything else in the world.

The day after our interview I looked at Christian’s website and I am just saying that the post that day was this.

Coincidence? You tell me.

My finger is a little better today, thank you everyone. I still can’t touch myself drink tea with it but whatever…baby steps.

So, this weekend I have to go out to every karaoke place in the WORLD for an article I’m working on for The Mercury and it is going to be like 850 billion degrees. However, since becoming a militant vegan activist 5 days ago, all of my summer clothes totally fit me again, so I won’t be forced to wear a sweatshirt to hide my jelly belly. I hate that term.

Anyway, tonight I’m going to The Hutch and Yen Ha and maybe also The Ambassador. But here’s the rub - I can’t drink very much because I have to keep my stamina up for the next three nights. Plus, I’m vegan now and if I get all drunk everyone will be able to laugh at my drunkenness and look down on me and if I can’t be the one looking down on the people then WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING THIS FOR?

And tomorrow night I get to have karaoke girl’s night, whee!!!!! Melissa Lion, myself, and my new Superfan, Erica are getting together for one night of ribaldry and excitement! I hope Erica remembers not to look Melissa directly in the eyes and also to always, ALWAYS bow her way out of the room.

I’m very excited to meet my Superfan. I only saw her for a split second on NW 21st, but she looked pretty. And she’s funny. And she’s from the east coast. And she thinks I’m like a god or something. And now she knows where I live.

What could go wrong?

Hahahaha.

I’m scared.

NO! No. I really am looking forward to the three of us hanging out. Erica seems super cool. I am a little worried about ordering drinks and things because usually Dane takes care of that and I’m afraid I might just sit somewhere for an hour before I realize I’m not actually drinking anything and no one cares. And I’ll miss Dane. I’m sappy.

I wish Crissy could be with us. It would be so awesome and we could all have a big pillow fight and take pictures and Ken would have a heart attack. But in a good way.

And I haven’t told Superfan and Melissa this yet, but a friend of mine who I haven’t seen in TWO YEARS is going to be at The Alibi with her friends and so we’re going there too.

So many girls. I bet we all get our periods, like, fucking immediately.

Today is Thursday, which is the day before my interview with the Famous Person (who, btw, may or may not have a large gay following so I think it’s important to note that despite my previous battles with the word police, I LOVE THE GAYS, just FYI) and as foretold, I am eyeing the oven with a concentrated sort of resignation. I would be dangling my head over the toilet bowl but I haven’t cleaned it in a few days and I have germ fears.

Anyway, I’m just going to do whatever I can to prepare myself for a well organized interview and then drink the shame away later that evening when we go out to dinner at the Malay Satay Hut. I’m not kidding - that’s what it’s called. And I love satay so a whole hut filled with it is exciting for me. Which brings me to my point (ish)…yesterday I went to lunch at Pok Pok with Melissa and Alison and it was so nice to talk to smart girls about smart things like Blog Fodder and writing for The New York Times and also to talk about not smart things like boys and sweaters and being naked in public. And then Dane and I went out to dinner with friends at DF and we talked about Wikipedia redtape falderal and my enchiladas were delicious and the service was excellent. I think at one point the owner came over, wiped my mouth with a napkin, and then gave me a stimulating scalp massage for the remainder of our meal. Is that normal?

I’m still not getting to the point. THE POINT IS, we have been out for every single meal this week for one reason or another which was really, really fun, but I have yet to watch The Hills with a glass of wine in one hand, a taco in the other, and about four cups of salsa dribbled all over myself and the cat and the couch and that is what we’re doing tonight so if anyone or anything tries to come between me and those circumstances, I will bite it’s face off like a mother bear protecting her cubs.