Category — The Hills

I realize about half of you give a shit about BSG and the other half of you are all like, where’s the post about how the people at Forever 21 make you feel riddled with insecurity and self doubt? So, in an effort to bring us all together (although after the last few days, I feel like we really grew immeasurably closer, don’t you? Like in a zombie movie kind of way, where we fight together or die together, right?) I am going to try my darndest to compare Battlestar to The Hills. Please bear with me.

First of all, now that we know who eleven of the twelve cylon models are, there are going to be many very uncomfortable conversations between well, EVERYONE. Not unlike in this season of The Hills, where Spencer’s sister Stephanie (or ShePratt as she’s known in the blogosphere) just happens to wind up in Lauren’s “computer” class (not really a class - more of an excuse for Lauren to wear awesome Grace Kelly glasses and pretend to look smart at something and similar to Gaius Baltar’s wearing awesome Elvis Costello glasses and pretending to look smart at test tubes or whatever). Stephanie and Lauren have a very awkward confrontation/apology about “hey I thought you were a bitch/cylon but it turns out I was the bitch/cylon and now we can be friends”. RIGHT? Are you with me on this people?

Ok, I’m really warming to my theme here - all those literary criticism classes weren’t for nothing, Mom!

Second of all, Starbuck is back and she’s some kind of Messiah…maybe - which totally mimics the return of Justin Booby Bobby Stephen! Back from the dead and wreaking havoc on mankind. The prodigal son/daughter returns home and with him comes the hope of what? Salvation? OR DESTRUCTION? Dun dun dun.

And finally, within the first five episodes of BSG we’ll learn who the frak the twelfth cylon is which is just like in The Hills when we learn that…umm…pull it together, Kiala. We learn that, er, Brody is the, fuuuck, the father of all mankind? Human and cylon alike? Ok, my theory kind of fell apart there. But STILL, the first two were pretty good, I think.

Ahem.

Next Friday I will compare BSG to Hell’s Kitchen. See you then!