Category — The Gambler

We played poker last night with friends and I learned a very important lesson about myself which I will now share with you.

I can drink alcohol just as easily at people’s homes as I do in bars. Maybe more easily. Maybe easily peasily japaneasily.

Huh? Ok, I’m a little broken today, sorry.

What this all comes down to is that I am a terrible poker player, but I’m still an excellent drinker and that’s something, isn’t it?

First we went to The Screen Door for dinner with Justin and Megan and Dane ordered the largest plate of fried things any human being has ever ordered. Then he woke up this morning, stepped on the scale, and sobbed softly to himself for about an hour before I yelled at him to be quiet - I was trying to sleep off my hangover.

No. Dane is my favoritest.

After dinner, we went over to Jiro’s house to play the poker. He and his wife, Ellen live in a big house in SE Portland and are grown ups. Megan and Justin live in a big house in NE Portland and are grown ups. We live in a small apartment in NW Portland and they think WE are grown ups. I’m starting to wonder if any of us know what a grown up really is.

So we sat down to play and everyone was very patient about my total inability to understand rules or directions or retain information for longer than 30 seconds and Megan won all the money in the world because she is some kind of rogue card shark - like James Garner in Maverick only way prettier.

Which would have made me love her even more than I already do except for the fact that my love parameters had been exceeded by her bringing along these slippers for me to wear while wandering around Jiro and Ellen’s wood floors.

And then she gave them to me. Because she is now a millionaire and giving away slippers to The Poor alleviates her affluent white guilt.*

*Megan is my other favoritest.