Category — San Francisco is my new bicycle.

I woke up this morning and lo! there were clouds and it was Good.

The San Francisco sunshine was KILLING me. It is November, people, and I suffered through summer in Oregon with a smile on my face because I had waited 9 long months for some sun and also because I could actually fit into my skirts and things again (post-divorce weight GONE) but now it is November and I want blustery leaves and rain on my face and scarves and tights and boots.

Yesterday, I wore flip flops and a skirt to walk the dog. It felt so wrong and evil. I mean, okay, it felt good but WORNG. I know I spelled that incorrectly but I am making a point about how not right it was.

This past weekend, Dane and I took the Muni light rail together so I would know how to use it without looking like a total potard. It seems easy enough. We also took the bus which was like every other bus experience I’ve ever had in my life - dirty and weird and bumpy. We took the 38 down (up?) Geary to Japantown to see Quantum of Solace at the Sundance Theater where they serve alcohol. I looked around and did not see one single Japan - not one. Ffft. Japantown. LIARS.

Anyway, this was the exchange we had with the bartender/server lady at the theater.

Us: So, the guy downstairs told us we can order food and then not have it delivered until the movie starts, is that right?

“Lady”: I don’t even know what time it is. What time is it?

Us: (searching in my bag for my phone) Um….I’m not sure

“Lady”: So you don’t want to order anything then? (over our shoulders) Can I help whoever’s next?

Us: No, wait! (me seething) We would like a Grey Goose and tonic and a margarita.

“Whore” “Lady”: (Long sigh) OKaaay. That it?

Dane: Actually, would it be too much trouble to order a margarita instead? That sounds delicious.

“Lady”: PAY ATTENTION DANIEL (other bartender) THESE ARE OUR NUMBER ONE TROUBLE CUSTOMERS OF THE DAY.

And then she slapped me across the face.

No, she didn’t, but that’s what it felt like.

So I gave her the death stare, which is surprisingly similar to me looking at the floor and mumbling thank you.

Other than that I would highly recommend the Japantown Sundance Theater as long as your expectations for any actual Japans and customer service are non-existent.