Category — gaming

God, I know. I KNOW what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “hmm…her apartment doesn’t look like someone’s dirty basement” and “but she has never once alluded to her unfortunate virginity or her Spacehunter Fan Fiction or her job at CompUSA during the entire time I’ve been reading this blog. I’M CONFUSED.” And I totally understand your confusion but STILL, I have a theory about the pantheon and general themes of BSG and I would like to share it with you mostly because you won’t care and on Fridays I like to talk about nerd things.

My theory goes like this: All the humans on BSG were once cylons and all cylons were once human. The cycle continues again and again until, I don’t know, maybe some kind of nirvana is reached or they all ascend to a different celestial plane or WHAT HAVE YOU. Pick your religion. It’s one of them. But that’s it in a nutshell.

DISCUSS.

Oh, and maybe Starbuck is The Buddha. She’s some kind of Messiah anyway.

DISCUSS SOME MORE.

I think I’ve got my finger in too many pies. Or at least, my fictional finger in too many very real, very important to me to not let down people, pies. I haven’t written anything for Pampelmoose in two weeks, just one post for Engamer, and still NOTHING besides the About Us section of Geektoob. I went to a screening for the Mercury on Friday at Cinema 21 and then another screening on Monday at the Whitsell (for the Merc too) Auditorium inside the Art Museum.

I don’t know if any of you have ever been to a Silver Screen Club screening before, but let me tell you it’s like watching a movie with the entire cast of Cocoon sitting next to you and gumming their popcorn. Except you’re not allowed to bring any food into the new renovated fancy pants theater so I suppose they’re just gumming some prunes or Centrum Silver they somehow snuck into a tote bag or a fanny pack.

Anyway, I spent most of Monday writing about the movie for Friday and all of yesterday writing the one for Monday. I just wonder if I maybe don’t have a knack for journalism. Sometimes I can spit out a review or a post in 15 minutes and sometimes it takes me an hour or two, but it always breaks my brain. If I write more than one post in a day, I feel like I’ve just run a smartypants marathon and need to carbo load again by reading the internet for a few hours (Seriously, will that walrus ever get his bucket back?!!!?) and then sleeping until next month o’clock.

I’m actually reading a real book right now - the kind I can take into the bathtub without getting electrocuted. It’s The Line of Beauty by Alan Hollingurst (you can see it over there…a little to your right) and it’s about a GAY. I didn’t know this when I picked it up or surely I would have set it on fire immediately lest the gay get on me. This book is so good. It’s like a panacea for all wayward english lit majors searching for a lost Henry James novel. It makes me happy. Correction: It makes me GAY.

Wait, where was I? Oh! My inability to focus (see what I did there?), yes.

Dane will tell you all about my problem with multi-tasking. Seriously, just ask him, he could go on for HOURS. Basically, if I have to do more than one thing in a day besides the normal cleaning the house things, the overwhelmingness of it bullies me into a panic which then becomes a kind of lethargic neurotic coma. I’m like a dog who’s been kept inside too much and starts to scratch itself really, really hard in one place (I can’t believe I just compared myself to a dog. With fleas.) Too many things to do short circuits my action taking ability. I know this would be helped with some medication (I love you klonopin), but I am so resistant to putting my liver and kidneys through any more trauma than I already have (Vodka + Advil = oh my god DIALYSIS), I’d just rather learn to manage it on my own. Like our ancestors did when they had to hunt and gather in JESUS CHRIST KIALA THE SAME GODDAMN DAY AND NO ONE BLOGGED ABOUT IT.

So now I make to do lists and I breathe deeply and one day when I’m old I hope to be able to go to a Silver Screen Club movie and remember to sneak in my prunes and my Centrum Silver and then go to my bridge club without freaking the fuck out.

I’m not very good at Role Playing Games.

We went over to Sy and Liam’s this weekend for an afternoon/evening of Dungeons and Dragons.

I AM TOTALLY SERIOUS.

Dane used to play it all the time as a kid, but despite my childhood love of all things Slurpee/Nachos…I had never played it before. I love sci-fi and fantasy (like they were one of my OWN) and I also love sitting on the couch for long periods of time so this seemed like a no brainer.

But I just can’t get into it. At least not like this kid…

It’s totally not Liam’s fault, or Sy’s, or the fault of their funny friends. Or the chili they made for everyone. (DELICIOUS). It’s my fault. I kind of forgot about how when I’m reading say a George RR Martin or a Jack Whyte, I skip over the battle scenes. All of them. I just want to read about the political intrigue (a cunning dwarf! Oooooh!), the character development (anti-hero turns pro!), the costumes (leathery), and the incest (Yay! I mean eeewwwww).

Mostly the incest.

What?

For some reason, Mass Effect keeps freezing on Dane and he loses his shit a fair majority of his progress when this happens. My character, however, - my female character - doesn’t seem to have this problem. I credit the boobs. Then again, I’m no scientist.

In related news, I managed to write a Pampelmoose post today about Feist performing on the Today Show. I think this was the first post I’ve written in over a week for the Moose. I really should be writing more often (also, rain is wet and chocolate milk comes from chocolate cows) but I suppose I’ve just been distracted by the XBox, wedding things, shiny objects, and vegetables.

I love vegetables. Dane doesn’t. Therefore, I can only conclude he must be a terrorist - but the kind of terrorist who would sneak nachos onto a plane instead of a bomb. And isn’t that JUST the sort of terror America needs? Am I right?

What?

So, c’mon, what do you think of the new Cookie? Love it? Hate it? Tell me the things!

Also, I am going to be writing some Film Shorts for the Portland Mercury. I’m still not clear on whether I’m just writing for the online one or if it will be in the paper also. Oh well, either way I think it’s safe to assume next year I’ll be polishing my Pulitzer with a diamond flecked golden towel.

AND

Christmas came early this year! We now own an XBOX 360 just like the city folk do. It’s magical. I spent the better part of yesterday playing Mass Effect. Admittedly, the majority of that time was spent making my Captain Jane Shephard look pretty, but by the end of the day I had caught up to Dane’s progress and should be wearing Turian armor and fighting on a whole different planet than him by this weekend.

But I’m not competitive.