Category — dragons

It’s back kids! Our favorite new column Ask Dr. Intern Meagan ™!
So go ahead and ask Dr. Intern Meagan all your burning, itchy questions and while you’re at it could you please ask her why the fuck my shoes aren’t organized according to Goethe’s 12 part color wheel like I asked?

Thanks!

We finally watched The Hills season premiere last night and I would very much like someone to tell me what happened to the other 27 minutes of the episode? Because what we watched? About five minutes of rehashing the same Audrina/Lauren/Lo love triangle and Spencer being a hungover douchetroll.

Oh, and Lauren went on a date with a talking set of dentures.

Did anything else happen?

Next week’s episode had better be um, I don’t know…MORE.

*Also, I still stand firm regarding my stance on healthy food blogging other than Couch Cubicle (Arielle gets a pass because she knows the difference between their and there and she is irreverently funny).

I don’t know. I just like dragons.

You know, sometimes I think what I write in a comment on someone’s blog post is eight thousand times better than anything I will ever write anywhere. (Did you hear that New Yorker? TAKE NOTE.) Which brings me to my point that has nothing whatsoever to do with what I just said…

I HAVE AN INTERN!

(See how badly I need one? That paragraph was NONSENSE.)

I do! Her name is Meagan (like that, Meagan with an “a” for flair) and I owe her one very thoughtful email which I will get to shortly here. Right after I read the new IKEA catalog and organize the home office.

Hey wait, you say! Aren’t those things your new intern could do????

No, no, no Meagan will only be doing some light typing, the Googling, and maybe also setting up a Facebook page for Face of the Cookie. And picking up Dane’s dry cleaning. And brushing my hair before bedtime. Easy peasy.

Well, why can’t Superfan do those things, you say?

Because being a Superfan is an altogether different, yet still illustrious position. (I don’t know what illustrious means…MEAGAN! Goddammit, where is that girl? Get to the Google, STAT!) Anyway, they are two different things, Superfanness and Internness, and I couldn’t get along without either of them. Don’t ask me to tell you what the difference is, because I don’t know. And I don’t want to know. I just want to have them both. Not in that way, NOT IN THAT WAY, INTERNET.

(A little bit in that way.)

Tomorrow night, I am meeting up with the women of the Portland Brain Sluts/Trust and we will all compare notes on our interns (except Zoe who needs an intern desperately) and maybe come up with a scheme to make them compete against each other somehow…like an intern Olympics…maybe even coinciding with the Beijing ones. Only our interns will do intern-y things. Not, you know, running or jumping or whatever…maybe making the perfect cocktail or fielding questions from the Press. Stuff like that.

I’ll keep you posted. Or Meagan will. Whatevs.