Category — Don't leave Multnomah County. Ever.

I may have had fourteen margaritas prior to this outing. Megan may have had fifteen which actually is NOT why she ended up gunning her car onto the grass and then back onto the raceway. That happened because she is awesome.

Justin took these pictures - I think while driving his car at speeds upwards of one million miles per hour. He’s like the paparazzi. Or magic.

Last night was so weird that by the time we made it out of the movie screening around 8:45 and over to BJ’s Bar and Kill Grill (or whatever), I was what a medical professional might have described as hysterical. The movie was honestly so bad, it was incomprehensible, and the guy running the screening was a little miffed at me because we showed up at like 2 minutes to 7 which is rude, I guess. But I’m SORRY. It’s not like I was late and MY GOD THAT MAN SHOULD HAVE BEEN APOLOGIZING TO ME. In fact, he should have rubbed my feet and brought me figs and iced tea while he was apologizing because the movie was so god awful. It was offensively horrible. I think that movie gave me PTSD. For real.

Anyway, I was in a real state, as my grandmother would have said, when Justin and Megan picked us up outside the theater and by the time we pulled up to the bar/shack/future place where our dead bodies would be found, seeing this on the bumper of someone’s SUV DID NOT HELP.

So the place was a little smaller than our bedroom and this was the KJ. On the serious. He actually turned out to be really, really nice.

Clackamas KJs: A breed apart

And here is me singing Cuts Like a Knife. I love Bryan Adams.

I pretty much cleared the room. All three feet of it.

Kiala: It feels so right

Makers and Diet Coke: A Portrait

And here is where I prove my love to you, my Frookies (thanks Crissy!), by posting this picture of myself where I look like a man in drag because the woman (?) behind me is so FUCKING AWESOME with that lighter. Right?

Two inches closer and it all could have gone horribly, horribly wrong.

And then Dane sang some Tenacious D (Tribute). It pretty much ruled.

Dane: Ruling. Pretty Much.

Megan agreed with the ruling. And Justin was distraught at the thought of following him. So he didn’t. Everyone understood.

Emotions. So many of them all at once.

And here you will see two ladies dancing. You’ll note how different this looks in comparison to when orange girls in tight jeans dance together.

Ladies love to dance. Not just the orange ones.

I don’t know what else to say about last night, other than that BJ’s was either the best or the most worstest ( I KNOW THAT IS WRONG) place I’ve ever been.

And now I need to nurse my mild hangover with eight diet cokes and some sushi.

Good Day!