Category — booze

I had lunch with Lizzy Caston and Melissa Lion at Por Que No? on Mississippi Ave yesterday. I ordered a fish taco and a diet coke and they put a straw in the soda which made me feel either very ladylike or hospital patient-y. I haven’t decided yet.

Afterwards, Melissa and I went up to Muddy’s Coffehouse to talk about me and my stuff and my things because if you ever have the good fortune to sit and have a conversation with me it will always – ALWAYS – turn back around to the subject of me and my things. Good luck with that, future yous.

It was a really nice afternoon.

And then I drove fast and took chances in the rented Zipcar (I’m so maverick-y!) in order to be home and drunk in time for the Prezzy debate live blogging extravagasm with The Mercury people. We ordered delivered dish from Sansai (so many sushis), logged into the liveblog thingy, and then Dane and I ceased talking to each other for over two hours. Our plan was for Dane to feed me smart, political stuff to say when I started floundering but he got so involved with commenting under his pseudonym, that I WAS LEFT ON MY OWN TO BE SMART.

And I did just fine, thank you very much. Score one for feminism…I guess…I’m not sure. I’ll ask Dane if that’s right.

And finally, to kick your humpday in the pants, here is my very most favorite wardrobe_remix person. CLICKYANDSHIT.

Teamwork! from Kiala Kazebee on Vimeo.

WRONG.

Last night was just terrific. Poor Dane doesn’t like the heat so I was forced to keep my warm, relaxed, summer feelings secreted away inside of me (does that sound like I’m pregnant? I’M NOT PREGNANT INTERNET) in deference to his uncomfortable and cranky situation. And he, in turn, put on a brave face and endured his own sweat with the help of several delicious vodka tonics and some beers with foreign labels.

He’s a champ, my Dane.

We went to dinner at Le Happy (I had a salad because I am a delicate flower…a delicate flower who ate a bunch of Taco Bell later that night) and then cabbed it over to Urban Grind near the Mercury Offices for the Backfence event.

It was kind of overwhelming to see so many people I know at once and I’m afraid I was a little…did I already say overwhelmed? What’s another word for that? Meagan! The Google! Get on it!

Oh! So I finally met Intern Meagan last night. She was okay.

I’m kidding! OMG, she’s adorable (and so was Intern Nathalie but whatever this is about MY intern) and funny and was wearing the best Christian Dior Grace Kelly/Lauren Conrad glasses I’ve ever seen. Ever. Also, today is Intern Meagan’s 22nd birthday! Holla! or whatever the kids say now.

She was altogether too sober though and so I did my best to make her feel bad and guilty about it. Especially while she was holding my hair and saying soothing things to me as I crouched over the toilet spewing sangria.

I’m kidding again. I did have a sangria though. It was excellent. I have a headache now.

The storytelling was good, some more compelling than others (I’m looking at you Adam Arnold) but the real standout – and I am in no way biased by my friendship with him and his hot wife Sue – was Matt Davis.

He really put himself out there in a scary, hilarious way and I will tell you something people – THAT is what makes a good story. Make people a little or a lot uncomfortable. It’s necessary. And it was brilliant.

I’m a little all over the place today – I blame the drink (that was for you Sue) – because we did end up going to Club 21 after the event with Matt, Sue, Alison, Jenn, and Autumn. I had a gigantic makers and ginger ale served with an extra side of surliness and then proceeded to pretend like I was thoughtful and demure when really I was just a little drunk. Maybe. I don’t know.

And then we went to the Taco Bell. Sue and Matt got some too so stop with the judging already. And for the record, our Radio Cab driver was the BEST about it.

Oh and Melissa Lion and I are both up in The Merc this week! It’s like some kind of heaven, isn’t it?

Erica, Superfan the –

Cookie, Face of the –

Oh, Erica – so, so pretty. To be 25 again. Sigh. Instead of er, 28 or whatever.

NO MATTER.

Anyway, yesterday was super exciting what with the Mercury Cover story and my newfound fame and my inability to buy pretty shiny things at Forever 21 without being hounded by the Paparrazzi, etc….but tonight we are going to First Friday at Nemo for a rock show poster art show thing show and Erica is coming too! This is your chance boys, to meet the young lady in person before submitting your applications to be her birthday dinner date. Don’t fuck this up, men.

I encourage any and all Portland readers to stop by and say hello. The party starts at 7ish (1875 SE Belmont) and it’s FREE. Please bring us brownies. We has a craving.

What the hell Kiala. Where is the third panel?

Well, I am sorry internet, but Dane and I went to a meet and drink for Django or by Django or with Django or something last night and I had four too many vodka sodas and “entertained” a bunch of cute computer geeks with my “wit” and then had to get up early this morning to be late for a dental appointment. The computer men were all very tolerant of my software ignorance. Probably because they were powerless against the force of nature that is my shiny, shiny hair. Or (and this is more likely) they were just being polite.

Guess who I ran into on my way downtown? That Melissa Lion of Melissa Lion fame! So I dragged her with me to the Django thingy and she and Dane and I had a good convo about how he really needs to buy a pair of aviators because his sunglasses are a little “Ice Cube” as Melissa so eloquently put it. Then she went home to make herself some steak with hot sauce.

It’s really too bad she left because I was one of two girls at this function – completely surrounded by smart, successful boys. Yes, yes, I am married and very, very happy but it doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a bevy of be-sneakered boys in glasses all volunteering to whip out their iPhones to look up the name of Douglas Adams’ sandwich beast* in Mostly Harmless. I mean, my God people, I’m only human.

Dane and I had a very good time talking to them about um, multi line functionality or some such thing. I dunno. I was drunk.

Aaaand I sat next to Simon Willison who created something important (Python or Django or soy milk or…okay…I don’t really know and Dane is going to kill me for that) along with another guy who I did not sit next to. They sparkled like diamonds.

I’m not kidding. They did. Like diamonds.

Simon and I talked about the difference between Trekkies and Trekkers (Trekkers go to conventions, Trekkies don’t) and then we segued into some Battlestar. Yay! He hadn’t finished season four though so I was a bit stymied about what I could or could not say. And then he told me about Dwarf Attack. I’m not going to say anything more about that because I may try to pitch a Dwarf Attack article to somebody in the near-ish future. I’m not sure. So don’t steal Simon Willison’s my brilliant ideas internet, please. Thank you.

Oh! He also told us all about this place. Apparently, you’ll get reprimanded for picking up the sugar cubes with your fingers. It sounds fascinating. And they spell cozy wrong. Do not argue with me about this, Matt Davis.

I also met a super guy named Mike Richardson. He is teaching himself how to skateboard which is awesome, right? And I guessed his age which kind of totally freaked him out, I think. In hindsight I probably should have told him I’m made out of magic and marked with the number of the beast. Oops! Sorry, Mike! We’re Twitter friends now anyway. There’s no going back.

Oh! And my new superfan Mark Gross came over and introduced himself to us. Hi Mark! Thanks for meeting me!

As we were leaving, we shared the elevator with a guy named Ben from England who said he was going home to sleep and I said, “Yes, we’re going there too. To your home.” He said, “NO!” and waved us away with his hand just as I was muttering, “No, that would be…weird.”

So at that point I had freaked out not one, but two, software engineers using only my mind and my lack of social skills. I was ON FIRE.

Dane should probably not let me leave the house anymore.

I’ll put the final episode of Kiala Comics up first thing tomorrow, peoples. Promise.

*Perfectly Normal Beast

My finger is a little better today, thank you everyone. I still can’t touch myself drink tea with it but whatever…baby steps.

So, this weekend I have to go out to every karaoke place in the WORLD for an article I’m working on for The Mercury and it is going to be like 850 billion degrees. However, since becoming a militant vegan activist 5 days ago, all of my summer clothes totally fit me again, so I won’t be forced to wear a sweatshirt to hide my jelly belly. I hate that term.

Anyway, tonight I’m going to The Hutch and Yen Ha and maybe also The Ambassador. But here’s the rub – I can’t drink very much because I have to keep my stamina up for the next three nights. Plus, I’m vegan now and if I get all drunk everyone will be able to laugh at my drunkenness and look down on me and if I can’t be the one looking down on the people then WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING THIS FOR?

And tomorrow night I get to have karaoke girl’s night, whee!!!!! Melissa Lion, myself, and my new Superfan, Erica are getting together for one night of ribaldry and excitement! I hope Erica remembers not to look Melissa directly in the eyes and also to always, ALWAYS bow her way out of the room.

I’m very excited to meet my Superfan. I only saw her for a split second on NW 21st, but she looked pretty. And she’s funny. And she’s from the east coast. And she thinks I’m like a god or something. And now she knows where I live.

What could go wrong?

Hahahaha.

I’m scared.

NO! No. I really am looking forward to the three of us hanging out. Erica seems super cool. I am a little worried about ordering drinks and things because usually Dane takes care of that and I’m afraid I might just sit somewhere for an hour before I realize I’m not actually drinking anything and no one cares. And I’ll miss Dane. I’m sappy.

I wish Crissy could be with us. It would be so awesome and we could all have a big pillow fight and take pictures and Ken would have a heart attack. But in a good way.

And I haven’t told Superfan and Melissa this yet, but a friend of mine who I haven’t seen in TWO YEARS is going to be at The Alibi with her friends and so we’re going there too.

So many girls. I bet we all get our periods, like, fucking immediately.

I slammed my finger in our front door last night.

Finger: Hurt all night long.

12:59 pm: I might die. Also, I am a total idiot. Carry on.

Self Portrait: Idiot With Margarita