A Pneu Communicaton. What? You’ll get it in a minute.

For those of you not following me on the Twitters (HI MOM!) you may be interested to know I have WALKING PNEUMONIA. Exciting, right? What this means is I have some kind of mean bacteria in my left lung and it is making me cough and have a fever and sleep and generally feel like poop. I was in denial about being sick and Saturday morning after coughing consumptive-ly all night Dane forced me to go to Zoom Care and OMG YOU GUYS IT IS LIKE A DREAM IN THERE. So clean and modern! A nice young competent lady at a computer… STANDING UP! She even looks you in the eye and knows what year it is and doesn’t push a clipboard through a weird plastic barrier and then forget to give you a pen because pens are expensive and HMO’s won’t cover the cost of your expensive pen you seem to need to fill out the pushy clipboard and isn’t that rude of you!

The doctor came out to get me – THE DOCTOR DID – and brought me back to the IKEA exam room (Exaam Rüm) and showed me pictures on the internet of my bacteria and typed and talked to me at the same time and told me how much my prescriptions would be and then gave me the name of a doctor in SE Portland who hates the insurance industry and charges reasonable rates and will help me with my anxiety medications. I want to marry Zoom Care. Can Obama help me with this do you think?

So I’m on antibiotics ($10 at the Zoom Care) and ear drops (again $10) and I’ll be weaning off Effexor and ramping up on Celexa because Effexor is $200, 000 a month without insurance and Celexa is a shiny ten cent piece.

Simler Beta rolls out today and the whole Simler team is descending on my house and I have the pneumonias and am not only contagious but I feel like dying and when you feel like dying the last thing you want is a bunch of boys around listening to the effects your antibiotics might have on your digestive tract, etc… so Simler is putting me up at the Hotel Fifty for two nights. I’ll be convalescing at a HOTEL. Isn’t that romantic?

Let’s see….oh! We went to Entertainment for People and it was AMAZING and afterwards Dan Kennedy, Beth Lisick, Melissa, Fancyhats, Frayn, Kevin and a few others went to the Ringside in order to repeat my first Dan Kennedy (and Frayn!) experience.

This time around was much more fun because we’re all so much closer now and Melissa was there and we couldn’t stop laughing and telling each other ridiculous stories and Beth Lisick is so smart and funny and ADORABLE and graciously put up with our drunk friend Luke (who we love) hitting on her the whole time. And Dan was great, you know, the way he is (which is great) and the waitress HATED us for coming in 30 minutes before closing and ordering all happy hour food and drinks and being funny and young and famous. Or something.

Finally, I’m to be a new contributor to Village Voice media’s ladyblog Heartless Doll. I believe my first post will be up tomorrow. What I’m saying is, other than the Consumpmoniafluaids, things are going swimmingly.