I read these books now.

Obviously, I blame Felicia Day.

Honestly, It’s not really her fault. I would have gravitated toward these “historical romances” on my own eventually. I mean, the only difference between these books and the “high fantasy” of Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay is the exclusion of Magic and possibly an errant dragon or wood elf.

And I will not apologize for liking these things because it is NO DIFFERENT than dudes playing Madden or whatever.

In other news, I keep missing out on fun Mercury things and fun Ben Coleman things because we have issues leaving our dogs alone for any period of time. Dane thinks they’ll chew their way out of the backyard and I think they’ll chew their way out the front door. And the garage seems…mean somehow.

We’re working on it.

Let’s see…Dane’s new fancy startup Simler is in Alpha testing and that is super fun. Watch out Twitter, is all I’m saying. Your days are numbered. No, seriously, one of the tags I created on Simler is “How many days until Twitter dies?” and then we number them. With numbers.

I went to Uwajiimaiajamajawaji with Archie and Melissa this week and ended up in the bookstore sitting in a tiny chair reading a story to Archie. The story was in Japanese so I made it up because I’m a writer and this is supposedly one of my talents – like in Out of Africa when Meryl Streep makes up that story by the fire for Robert Redford and his friend who is into the African chicks. My story was something about a fat fish and some mean skinny fish and a shark. It was a morality tale. Because I’m all moral and shit.

Other than planning Portland’s first Winternet Prom™ I’m not really doing much else right now and while that is very relaxing and my closet has never been so organized I’d like to start work on SOMETHING. Not because I enjoy working (I don’t) but because it makes me sound important and superior when I meet new people and can say, “Oh, I’m working on a book of bad poetry for Harper Collins” or “I’ve been re-vamping the New Yorker Shouts and Murmurs column – adding more boners, etc.” Saying sentences like this makes people want to know you better or punch you in the face. Usually both.

What I am getting at internet, is I am available for fake work. Suggestions?