Trivia and other Portland things.

I went to Portland and my wallet was stolen by evil strippers!

It’s true. It may not have been a stripper, but I was in the bathroom at Sassy’s Strip Club and a girl complimented my hair and suddenly my wallet was gone. She was obviously a criminal mastermind or a first generation grifter. There is no other explanation for the skill with which she separated me from my worldly goods. *throws wallet out the window and continues to brush hair in the mirror*

Other than the wallet stealing, followed by the booze induced, pms infused weeping, my Portland adventure was so much fun. I did not get to see Ferik Penriksen, however, which I don’t want to say contributed to my sobbing breakdown but it TOTALLY CONTRIBUTED TO MY SOBBING BREAKDOWN.

My friends were amazing and started shoving money at my face and making soothing noises and Melissa Lion took me into the bathroom and dried my tears while a stripper inspected her own asshole while simultaneously admonishing us for looking at said asshole. It was weird.

The Nines Hotel was amazing as usual and I wish I hadn’t been so drunk both nights that I slept on top of the covers with the lights still on and one arm draped across my laptop.

Dane had my passport fed ex-ed and I had a funny phone conversation with a nice police officer about my wallet and how sad I was that my MST3K laminated member id was gone forever. I made him put it in the police report. I think he understood.

The bank gave me a temporary debit card and I bought a new 3 dollar wallet at Forever 21. I can only assume it was made by crippled African children to be so inexpensive. At least, I hope it was. I don’t what I mean.

I ate breakfast room service and sang lots of karaoke I don’t remember and hugged Alison Hallett about 500 thousand times and cemented many of my internet friendships (Plumpy and Rob and Graham and Will and ROM and oh EVERYBODY) and then on Thursday we went to Club 21 for Blogtown Trivia and Steve Humphreys and I had a really, really good talk about tv and comics and stuff and I got into a fight with a guy named Abe who hates Twitter but still uses it to send out info about his “art” because “it would be stupid not to”. I had to walk away from him.

And poor Rob was standing there uncomfortably, alternately laughing and visibly wishing he was standing somewhere, ANYWHERE else but with these two people who had decided to fight about a SOCIAL NETWORKING PLATFORM. Bleh bleh bleh.

And for some reason the trivia host hated everything and I don’t know why. I have my theories and they mostly involve the words, “hip” and “ster”.

I know this will get me into trouble but I mean, what’s with the attitude? I know being a trivia host is trying. I’m not kidding. It is. Besides coming up with the questions and categories and bonus questions, the crowd can be total dicks to you about the answers. I know this. But he still hated fun and I can’t support that.

Still, I really enjoyed it and I hope Trivia guy and Abe and myself can all mend our broken friendships and do it again when Dane and I move back to Portland. I have a quick temper because I’m Irish but I let things go fairly easily. I’m also incredibly sensitive, like a unicorn’s belly, and while this is what makes me creative it also makes me a little, uh, easily hurt.

So much more happened but I can’t blog anymore because my fingers are strained from all this unaccustomed typing but I’d like to say that I love Melissa Lion and I hope she had the best birthday ever. Even though I managed to make it all about me. Again.