My social life is in the pooper.
And because of this temporary (It’s temporary, right? I mean, I’ll make friends, right?) setback, my television viewing has gone waaay up and my standards have gone waaay down.
Which brings me to something I cannot hold in any longer.
WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH NICK ARROJO?
You ladies know who I’m talking about - he’s the creepy, oily, little, leprechaun hair stylist on What Not to Wear.
Not only is he strangely smarmy and unreasonably self-confident, he’s terrible at what he does. He gives the same fucking mom bob to every single lady in each episode and Dane and I have taken to pausing the show, just to prolong the moment when he will say, “In order to make a change, you’re going to have to lose some length.” And then we erupt into yelling at the tv screen, “Again?!!! What do you have against long hair, Arrojo??? Who the hell do you think you are?!” He’s as bad, if not worse, than that Jonathan Antin guy from Blow Out - stupid shaggy long layers.
And when he’s done chopping off their hair and making them all look as unfeminine as possible, he leaves the room, happy to have made another woman into what I can only believe to be a mirror image of his own long lost mother back in Cucallhainomaraland scrubbing potatoes and peeling the shamrocks or whatever.
I hate that guy so very, very much. It BURNS.
And don’t even get me started on Stacy and Clinton and their obsession with corporate wear for everyone. What is so awesome about an ugly blazer and some wool trousers that they just can’t get enough of? What? I ask you?
I have got to get out of the house.
Subscribe to my RSS Feed
19 comments
I think you should have a show where you dress everyone up at Forever 21 and then take them out for a night of Karaoke.
I hate mom bobs.
And I miss Queer Eye like you cannot imagine. Is that even still on?
Oh my god. Ari and I do this exact same thing. We both HATE him.
“What I’m gonna do is take some length off your ‘air.”
I HATE the way he says “hair.”
p.s.
I miss Blow Out. I loved that show.
After a certain age you can no longer make friends. You can only lose them. So you should come to L.A. soon!
wait wait wait! I asked her out! I made social plans with you!
Anyways, we can do it again before the tv rots your brain. I’m telling you, I have the dibs on cool friends. You’ll be very happy indeed.
Two weeks ago when I thought growing out my bangs was AWESOME, I had a mom bob and a tiny flame was extinguished in my soul.
i like the new socially-impared yet angry and vitriolic kiala!
I’m with Ken.
I don’t know who Nick Arrojo is. He looks and seems to act like the hairstylist version of Russell Crowe.
But the rage is very becoming and may play some important part in all that luminousness.
I agree about Nick. He needs to mix it up. The worst haircut was when he gave some girl a Tootie haircut. So sad.
I do like Stacy though. I think she’s very elegant and always looks beautiful. Her dresses are great. I don’t, however, like how she says empire. “Ohm-peer.”
I guess I probably shouldn’t admit this now, but here I go anyway…..Nick Arrojo cuts my hair! And it’s funny because on the show his hairstyles are the sickest and most conservative, but his salon in NY is known for being more “edgy” ( I rue the word) than most. It never makes sense to me. Anyway, now I’ve embarrassed myself Oh, I’m worried that this might sound like I’m defending him, but no one’s worse than Jonathan Product. All of the Antin’s are the worst. Have you seen the Ali G show where he dresses up like Bruno and interviews Jonathan? It’s basically a dream….
i fucking miss you.
A hot, spirited redhead cuts my hair! And she takes like an hour and a half to do it!
SHE IS MY SECRET!
Okay, so I am coming out of lurkdom to say that I will be your friend! I randomly found your blog and love your writing, and from your post last week, I think I probably live less than a mile from you (I live in Noe Valley). Is that creepy that I said that? Do you not want to be my friend now? I like wine. I also have a GREAT hair stylist in SF who will not give you a mom bob if you need a recommendation. Check her out on Yelp: Andria Duda Falcon at Dekko.
Superfan SUSAN!
Superfan Susan, I am sending you an email so we can get together and drink wine and LAUUUUGH.
At people.
superfans come from every corner of the globe!
ooo i love what not to wear. i don’t love nick’s “haw ya doin’ hawaya” opener though…
I love that I am a superfan. And look forward to drinking and lauuuughing with you, Kiala.
He does leave the room, but first he always - always - asks for a hug. He is the creepiest of the creepy.
Leave a Comment