Oh thank the Gods, it’s not frakking sunny anymore and other stories.
I woke up this morning and lo! there were clouds and it was Good.
The San Francisco sunshine was KILLING me. It is November, people, and I suffered through summer in Oregon with a smile on my face because I had waited 9 long months for some sun and also because I could actually fit into my skirts and things again (post-divorce weight GONE) but now it is November and I want blustery leaves and rain on my face and scarves and tights and boots.
Yesterday, I wore flip flops and a skirt to walk the dog. It felt so wrong and evil. I mean, okay, it felt good but WORNG. I know I spelled that incorrectly but I am making a point about how not right it was.
This past weekend, Dane and I took the Muni light rail together so I would know how to use it without looking like a total potard. It seems easy enough. We also took the bus which was like every other bus experience I’ve ever had in my life - dirty and weird and bumpy. We took the 38 down (up?) Geary to Japantown to see Quantum of Solace at the Sundance Theater where they serve alcohol. I looked around and did not see one single Japan - not one. Ffft. Japantown. LIARS.
Anyway, this was the exchange we had with the bartender/server lady at the theater.
Us: So, the guy downstairs told us we can order food and then not have it delivered until the movie starts, is that right?
“Lady”: I don’t even know what time it is. What time is it?
Us: (searching in my bag for my phone) Um….I’m not sure
“Lady”: So you don’t want to order anything then? (over our shoulders) Can I help whoever’s next?
Us: No, wait! (me seething) We would like a Grey Goose and tonic and a margarita.
“Whore” “Lady”: (Long sigh) OKaaay. That it?
Dane: Actually, would it be too much trouble to order a margarita instead? That sounds delicious.
“Lady”: PAY ATTENTION DANIEL (other bartender) THESE ARE OUR NUMBER ONE TROUBLE CUSTOMERS OF THE DAY.
And then she slapped me across the face.
No, she didn’t, but that’s what it felt like.
So I gave her the death stare, which is surprisingly similar to me looking at the floor and mumbling thank you.
Other than that I would highly recommend the Japantown Sundance Theater as long as your expectations for any actual Japans and customer service are non-existent.
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7 comments
“So I gave her the death stare, which is surprisingly similar to me staring at the floor and mumbling thank you.”
That’s MY signature death stare too!
We are sisters.
wusses. both of you.
it’s a good thing that dane and i command the respect we do, via moral stature, resonant voices, and imposing physical presence.
I am morally outraged in that way that people without morals sometimes get really offended and know, somehow, that it feels a lot like when people with morals are inspired to outrage. By their morals.
Do these bartenders accept tips? I mean, most bartenders deal with horny drunk people all day long. How could Dane’s question possibly peg you as troublemakers? Are you sure he didn’t say something more like, “Actually, would it be too much trouble to order cunnilingus instead? That sounds delicious.” That might make just a tiny bit more sense.
Can you guys still be “potards” now that you’ve abandoned us? You’ll have to be fratards or satards or cistards or something.
It has been 80-90 degrees here. I know what you mean about being ready for some real fall weather.
Dear whiny Oregonians! (Kiala and Isabelle)
If you want some real fall weather, move out of California to the Yukon. Let the people who enjoy warm weather year round! That is what California is all about. Quite praying to your weather Jesus and RUINING THIS INDIAN SUMMER WITH COLD NIGHTS AND RAINY WEEKENDS! Plus I ride a motorcycle year round.
Signed,
A Stranger
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand welcome to San Francisco.
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