But I still don’t get a pass.
Yesterday, after a long day of dental torture, grocery shopping, and bank deposits I picked up Dane in our rented Zipcar and we headed over to Pepinos to pick up delicious burritos for dinner.
Pepinos has a tendency to fuck us over in terms of our dietary idiosyncrasies so Dane usually stands guard to make sure no one reaches for the goddamn fat making cheese while making my burrito and also that the same cheese seeking hand goes nowhere near any vegetables for his. And because I like to help I usually grab a copy of The Mercury and sit down in a corner. For years, this has worked really, really well for us and nothing weirder than getting short chipped has ever happened.
But yesterday something did. And that something was named Jeff. And he was…oh my God ladies…he was HAWT. And, and, and…oh goodness…he sat down and introduced himself to me.
“Hi, I’m Jeff, by the way”.
At least, I think that’s what he said because mostly I was mesmerized by the man shaped pheromone gun aimed at my face.
Internet, I had no idea what to do and it didn’t help one bit that Dane was laughing himself silly watching the whole thing go down.
So I just sat there awkwardly, determined to act like a lady who is happily married, but also totally humiliated that this hot guy was hitting on me, on ME, and now probably thought I was a jerk – or worse – mildly retarded.
As soon as our burritos were ready, I shot out of my chair and mumbled, “nice to meet you” and we left. I thanked Dane for not coming over and messing up my game (even though I clearly have no game and never will) and he said, “Of course honey. That guy was so good looking, I would’ve fucked him”.
We are going to be married FOREVER.
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14 comments
so. perfect.
that happened two days ago with me and ethan. except we were at the Claim Jumper, and the guy was mildly attractive and 45. and ethan did not admit to attraction, though i do not doubt it.
I want a burrito now.
His man gun was out? I never thought that would work…
Love,
Charley, who is immune to metaphor
That happened to me once. The guy definitely thought I was retarded because he asked me what my name was and I couldn’t remember. Man, I am smooooth.
Wow, this Jeff guy has some skills. Talking to women when they’re waiting for burritos is only for the most gifted men on earth. You and Dane witnessed something special.
That is adorable. I never get hit on (except for transients and construction workers). Jacob gets picked up on almost everyday. I think its because he wears a suit, so he looks hawt and ladies think he looks official or his pockets are full of one hundred dollar bills or something.
What a wasted opportunity. That was a threesome in the making.
If Dane heads back to Pepinos without you later, don’t complain that he didn’t warn you.
This proves it. Only handsome men buy burritos!!!!!
I BOUGHT A BURRITO LAST NIGHT!
I need some of the Kiala-public love to rub off on me.
Hey what a small world Meagan ^… I’m Megan and my boyfriend is Ethan too, and we alllllways used to eat at Claim Jumper when we lived in So Cal. Interesting.
Yes this happened to me once as well and the guy introduced himself as Sean and I forgot my name and repeated Hi, my name is Sean. Oh yeah, so smooth.
I am total boy repellent. NOBODY EVER HITS ON ME.
Ever.
Or at least I don’t think so.
I’m that clueless about boys.
It’s a gift.
you go kiala!!!
incidentally, were you ovulating at the time?
Wait, uh…yes, I think I was!
Pheremonesies.
Where are you lady?
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