TGIADIMT™!
It’s that day of the week again, kids. The day all of your questions are answered in the form of a comment. The day Dr. Intern Meagan™ dons her sparkling white coat and whips out her prescription pad of love. It’s Ask Dr. Intern Meagan™ Thursday! So go ahead, peoples, ask ask away!
Personally, I would like her to explain Sarah Palin and the glamour she cast over the world media last night. I can only imagine newts and their little eyes were involved. I don’t trust her dark magicks.
Bring on the questions!
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14 comments
Dear Dr. Intern Meagan,
I have been deeply obsessed with Sarah Palin this week and have no idea why. She pretty much stands for everything I am against, yet I have read about every article written about her in the past three days. So my question to you, Meagan: Is Sarah Palin a dark wizard a la Lord Voldemort in the Harry Potter series, subquestion, is she trying to infiltrate my liberal mind with her hoo-doo and shiny hair?
Yours for always,
Nathalie
Dear Meagan,
I do so look forward to TGITAM (thank god it’s thursday ask meagan).
To catch up on my saga, the friend I made out with decided to move in with his girlfriend. So the two e mail a week limit now does not matter as I am a bit heartbroken. Again. And still in the middle of a messy break up.
So here is my question. How does one have guys that are friends and then not kiss them? I have guy friends and really, when I was married this was not an issue. But now that I am in marriage purgatory, aka, waiting for a divorce, I don’t know if I can refrain from kissing male friends, who are not married. Married ones I can refrain from. And can men and women who are attracted to each other be friends? And if men and women are not attracted to each other, do they really want to be friends?
These are my questions. I was going to ask my therapist tonite as well.
Andie (last name has been changed to continue having friends)
Dear Dr. Intern Meagan,
I have recently been handed a pamphlet from a massage school that offers an hour long $20 massage from a student. I am tempted to go wearing a pearl thong and some fake mustaches glued under my armpits and ask if they do Internal Massage as well just to mess with the poor student masseuse.
Any other suggestions on how I might make someone re-think his/her career path just for shits and giggles?
Dear Dr. Intern Meagan,
It’s not too early at 10:15 to dump a mini-bottle of whiskey into one’s morning tea at work, right?
Hello my lovelies!
Today is an awful day for Dr. Intern Meagan - work is hard and shit. So, I am on my lunch break answering your questions because I love you all so so much.
NATHALIE (& KIALA, ACTUALLY) -
Though there is evidence to the contrary, I do not believe Sarah Palin is a dark wizard. In fact, I believe if she were, the conservative “Christians” who back her would probably know and burn her alive if this were the case.
I think, instead, that this is some sort of world-wide reality show circa “The Truman Show.” I am convinced that she is a figment of the networks banning together to get more ratings. The TV and print media industry have been suffering recently, and this is their ingenious plan to get it all on track!
It’ll all be over soon. Just sleep, my babies. Just sleep.
ANDIEE -
Hello, my pet!
Yes, boys and girls can be friends. If they’re attracted to each other they can be friends who don’t kiss - but their friendship will likely be less intimate. I screwed a guy friend I was in love with and afterwards, the crush went away and our friendship died. Worth it.
If they’re not attracted to each other, they can be friends and it’s usually a more deep connection because you’re not worried about letting your guard down in front of an uggo.
Also - this moving in thing is good for you - you need him to be distracted so you can move on!
So, move on, sister!!
KRISTEN -
First of all, can you take a picture of you in the thong and arm staches and e-mail that to me? thanks.
Second of all — fart. A lot. ‘Nuff said.
Third - bring your own ‘oils’ — which will be lube. Then tell them they can put it — wherever they choose.
Fourth - start telling them deep, dark secrets. Like how your daughter isn’t really your husband’s child, or how you killed that hooker in college.
Hope that helps! Muah! Well worth the $20.
MEGAN —
God, no. Not even a little.
Dear Dr. Intern Meagan,
I had an accident back in February which obliterated my front two teeth. Something as simple as biting into a juicy juicy burger is impossible with my temporary teeth. I am not giving up on paninis and steak & cheese, so I eat all sandwich like items with a knife and fork.
While everyone at work knows why I eat my sandwiches this way, they always exclaim: “oh my gosh!” and “why even bother?” and “wow, look at you eating your sandwich!” etc etc. This was okay for the first month or so, but its been 7 months since my accident so its wearing on my nerves. What’s the most polite way to tell them to fuck off?
Hi Meagan -
Is is strange that when I day dream - I do not imagine fortune or fame… but instead I dream about telling off historical figures?
In my head I craft very intricate (and scientific) arguments to use against them and then I imagine the likes of Geroge Wallace or Nixon looking at me sheepishly and shrugging as if to say “There’s no arguing with that, I was wrong… and I’m sorry.”
Crazy? Yes or No.
DMB -
When they say “wow, why bother?” or “oh my gosh” say something like this:
“I know, it’s hard to believe that I could be so strong as to continue eating paninis with a fork. But when my great uncle was on his death bed back in ‘67 he made me promise. Promise that whatever happened, whatever I did, I would NEVER stop eating. Never stop exploring my tastebuds. And I owe him that much.”
They should realize the sarcasm. And therefore, shut the fuck up.
DANE -
Hi lover.
No, you’re not crazy.
Sometimes I think about what would have happened had I outed Susan B. Anthony. Did you know that? Huge lezzie.
You’re normal. And I heart you.
Oh Idolized Meagan,
To begin, thank you for the wise advice in dealing with the Plastic-Lauren-Conrad-Wannabe-Roomates. To try and melt their frigid hearts, I surreptitiously left Adam Hills (a brilliant Australian comic) playing in the background.
Nothing.
However, as today is my 18th birthday, they reached out this morning with a *cue bored monotone* “Oh cool…happy birthday”.
Should I try to befriend these IQ-dropping clones? Or leave them be to try and find more worthy friends?
My judgment is in your capable hands.
Loyal Follower,
Meagan-Coincidence-Not-Stalker
PS. Don’t judge me for my youth.
Dr. Intern Meagan™,
Will Kiala kick your ass after she reads where you called Dane “lover” and declared your heart for him? Or does she already know about your feelings for him and is down with it, ’cause that’s just how they roll?
Not judging or anything, just wondering if I should get ready to put in for her movie review gig at the Merc if she ends up doing time after serving whatever form of justice she deems necessary.
Justin
MEAGAN-
I do not judge your age. I am only 22, which is young to most. I, however, feel old as dirt.
Leave those fuckers behind. You need friends like me, who say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And not ones who are too hungry from starving themselves to notice!
JUSTINS-
Kiala actually ensures that I take care of Dane in whatever way possible. That’s part of being an intern. Doi!
And, I have first dibsies on her job. I am, afterall, her intern - she’s taught me all she knows.
megan,
since the price of oil seems so much more volatile than the price of CNG, at least around here (new england), i have been looking seriously at replacing the burner in my steam boiler (replacing oil with natural gas).
i understand that there will probably be some performance/efficiency penalty since the boiler combustion chamber is designed a certain way depending on heating medium. however, this retrofit is meant to be neither a long-term nor elegant solution to the problem… that solution will likely be switching over to hydronic. however that is a project that will require a lot more time and a lot more money–more of each than i have right now.
the burner retrofit would physically be mounted and plumbed in by me. i would call a contractor in to tune the flame as i do not have the EG analyzers necessary.
i have a weil-mclain boiler of about 25 years old from my estimation (i am a relatively new owner of the house). i am having trouble identifying it and will probably post a picture of it here for assistance. i am hoping that it is somewhat compatible with a gas flame.
basically, are there any conversion burners that have proven to be better than others? are there any suppliers or vendors of those burners that someone could point me to? i have ballparked the price in the 700 to 1k range based on the small amount of information i’ve found on the net. should i just hold out and do a entire swap to a hydronic boiler system, possibly within the next year, but probably within two years?
please tell me, megan!
thanks
ken
Howdy Meagan,
Do you believe in the “No White Shoes After Labor Day” rule? I’ve been seeing a lot of white shoes lately.
xo
ZT
KEN -
This one had good scores on a site I found: http://www.hvacwholesalers.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=210
I would suggest contacting your local energy company and asking for advice, as they may be getting lots of calls about this due to gas prices, etc. Good luck!
PS - good question, hot stuff!
ZOE -
I do NOT believe in this rule. I believe white is a staple in any wardrobe and I refuse to take it out for six months of the year. In fact, today, I am wearing white slip-on sneakers with little skulls & crossbones sewn into them.
I know. I’m badass.
<3 M
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