Ask Dr. Intern Meagan™ Thursday!
Well, hello there.
How are you all this morning? I’ve just been reading my Mad Men character Twitter updates. And asking @trudy_campbell which Manhattan restaurant one goes to after being told by one’s husband to “deal with” one’s maternal yearnings on one’s own.
Annnywaaaay, it’s that time of the week again and I hope to Christ you’ve all been thinking, thinking, thinking about what you would like Dr. Intern Meagan™ to fix for you inside your minds. Ready? Go!
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24 comments
Dear Dr.InternMegan,
I missed you.
I don’t really have a question as my life as settled into dating myself. My friend has written me no e mails in the last four days and I have been strong like ox and not written anything to him but I dream about him every night.
Usually we are making out.
Anyways.
I am still in the midst of the same messy breakup. And now I have found that many of my friends are either breaking up or seriously doubting their relationships. How can I be supportive and give them good advice, when I don’t really believe in relationships at the moment?
Best,
Andie (last name has been changed to protect friends who are doubting their relationships) South
Dear Dr. Intern Meagan,
My boss has a severe problem with gas. She is always making very loud and smelly, ahem, gastrointestinal announcements, and is unapologetic and unabashed. My question to you pertains to how I might communicate to her that I do not wish to live inside her rotting colon any longer. It must be done with the utmost sensitivity and tact as I need to keep my job. All I can think of to do is fight fire with fire and well, I’m much too much the lady for that sort of thing.
Any ideas?
Meagan!
What should I have for lunch today!?
Charley
Dear Dr. Intern Meagan,
I am about to embark on a trip to Las Vegas this weekend for a bachelorette party for a childhood friend. I am her maid of honor. We don’t really have much in common besides being friends in middle and high school and all of her friends are very shiny, gorgeous LA women with designer bags and they all were in the same sorority and I’m going to feel very out of place. Namely, I am worried about what to wear to ‘da club’ as I have no club-wear and don’t want to look like a grandma, like I usually do.
So,
1. What are some topics I can use to break the ice with these glamazons?
2. How can I look smoking hot without showing my lady parts?
For the record - this is the best part of my week. My stupid lunch keeps getting interrupted by phone calls and all I want is to eat my yummy avocado & chicken salad and write to you. I love you.
HERE WE GO!
Andiee -
I’m so proud of you! Strong oxes are the bestest. And the hottest, too! I would tell your friends “everything happens for a reason.” I know it sounds cliche, but I believe it — and most other people will too when bad things happen.
Also, remind them that no person should make you feel whole - you should be whole on your own! So if they’re not happy, they can be on their own. Granted - they will probably fall into a spiral of cocaine and binge drinking - but who doesnt!?
Kristen -
Talk casually one day about how someone on the bus let out a huge fat rip and you’re still smelling it! How weird!? “Don’t you just hate that?” you’ll say. Maybe she’ll realize that her odor is overwhelming. And notice that she smells like ass.
Or you could just leave her BeanO on her car. And grind it up and put it in her coffee. SOMETHING.
Charley -
Sushi. Always sushi.
My Dearest Nat -
Wear some sexy little dress! BETSEY JOHNSON DRESS.
That question is easy for me because I know your closet!
BRING IT ON BEEZIES. TODAY I’M BORED.
Also, Nat -
Talk about anything you find on Perez. Chances are, these girls know about it. OH - and mention that Starbucks is coming out with that new “healthy options” breakfast menu. They’re all probably shitting themselves over the idea.
<3
Dear intern,
Signed,
Robert
Dear Robert,
You intrigue me.
<3 Meagan
Dear Dr. Intern Meagan,
Sometimes I think about working out. In fact, I’m thinking of doing the 30 day burn or whatever (It’s the most recent video from the crazy-lady trainer from biggest loser). So my question is: should I use this video?
Hearts and Flowers 4eva
Beth
Nat- I know I know! I know because I lived in Malibu. You talk about PINKBERRY YOGURT. Pinkberry Yogurt. Just say, oh I love Pinkberry, and voila — instant LA friends.
Dr. Intern Meagan, Esquire,
I was going to ask what I should make for dinner, but someone (Charley) asked a similar question. Should I just accept it that maybe others need help in the what to eat department, or should I feel sad that a variation of my question was stolen right out from under me?
Also, solve pi to the 77th degree.
I don’t know what that means.
Melissa: It’s Red Mango now. Pinkberry is so last spring.
Dear Megan,
How much to rub my thighs?
-TLT
Charley: Red Mango? What happened to the 11 million Pinkberries that opened all over town?
Melissa: Pinkberry! LA women LOVE frozen yogurt. You are so worldly and smart.
Meagan: Come to Forever 21 with me on my lunch break? I need something with more sequins or lame or something.
Beth -
GOD YES - she’s amazing. And she’s kind of pretty. And she used to be a fatty, so I don’t feel threatened by her!
Melissa -
I’m guessing, because I’m writing this at 8am, that you already made dinner [sorry about that, i went home sick yesterday from workie and went to bed. boo]. I think you need to realize that you’re not alone. And in that realization, comes creativity for food choices.
Or you could just head to that new place [that is WAY better than red mango OR pinkberry - it’s called Skinny Dip, off 23rd & Burnside - GO NOW].
Also. Pi to the 77th power = 1.9078323 × 10 x 38
Nat -
I’ll be there. My boss is out today and I’m gettnig tons of work done. I can afford to head there with your sweet behind.
<3
sorry about the delay in responses, kids. dr. intern meagan didn’t feel so good yesterday
Mad Men character twitter updates?!?!!?11
Joy-
Get with the program! You can find the characters ON Twitter!
Melissa: All the Pinkberrys are now dog salons. Fickle people in this town. Fickle people with well-groomed dogs.
Charley: Posh dog salons are taking over. We have one in St. John’s now. I’m not kidding.
Melissa & Charley,
You know why I don’t like posh dog salons?
Because I dye my hair out of a box and buy $4 shampoo. When I go to those damned salons, they look at me like I’ve been rolling around in poo. Even if I were - who are they to judge!? THEY WASH DOG HAIR!
dearest meagan,
As a former co-worker of yours, I am completely outraged and not to mention feeling a little betrayed, that you climbed the ever-so steep trendy/hipster Portland ladder, without me harnessed in one of those baby backpack things.
After spending a summer away at Jewish summer camp, I’m finding it hard to adjust. My question is, when can I touch you?
hugs and snugs,
stina
Stina,
I miss you much. Having you off at Jew camp was hard. And I’m sorry about not having you in my backpack — REI is spendy!
You can touch me soon. But before you do - make sure you’re ready for what I bring. Now that I’m Kiala’s “intern” I pack quite the visual punch.
<3 M
Oh Idolized Dr. Intern Meagan,
I fear my question comes much too late.
I recently moved in with some abercrombie-clone roomates who have not managed to grasp the concept of sarcasm…or humour… or intelligence.
How do I make contact with them/help them learn to be more interesting? (Aside from discussing the Hills or directing them to Kiala’s website.)
Love Meagan-Coincidence-Not-Stalker
Meagan-Coincidence-Not-Stalker,
First off - nice name.
Second off - I would suggest sitting down and watching Brian Posehn with your roommates by “accident” — always have him or Margaret Cho or [old] Dane Cook [when he was funny] on in the background.
Your laughter should break their cold, dead, plastic hearts.
Also, I suggest printing out daily articles from Jezebel or The Gawker and posting them in the kitchen/bathroom for all to see.
These are ideas I have because I used to be in a sorority, and was lucky enough to have great, funny girls in my sorority, but not so much in other houses. I had to learn to break through.
No worries, Meagan. I’ll be back tomorrow to answer more questions!
<3 M
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