MTV’s Amanda Lorber nails a journalist.
( I am so going to get sued for that headline.)
I don’t believe I’ve told you guys about our love, here at The Hesselbee Houselhold, for MTV’s The Paper.
I was not on the newspaper in High School because I was laboring under the mistaken impression that I was destined for The Stage. Even though I can’t sing. And my teeth are a little crooked. And I have stage fright. But whatever, I was gonna be a STAR.
After High School I went to hundreds of several different colleges up and down the West Coast - was a journalism major at most of them - but then realized that I really just wanted to read Henry James novels in the privacy of my own apartment and journalists have to actually go out into the world and talk to people which is TERRIFYING.
So I changed majors.
And never actually graduated - which is neither here nor there, just putting it out there - but by GOD, I read the shit out of some Stendhal and Diderot. Just, oh, THE SHIT out of them.
Cut to several decades later and I’m freelancing for the Mercury and thinking seriously about freelancing for other people except I keep getting distracted by margaritas and karaoke and bowling but whatever, I’m thinking about it and I find myself wondering (a little, mostly when I’m working out at the gym and I don’t know why that is but suck it people because at the gym is where I wonder) what life at The Mercury offices is like on a daily basis.
And I can only imagine it must be like The Paper, with all the shenanigans and hijinkery and backstabbing and cliquishness and…ok, I don’t know. Maybe just the first part.
The Portland Mercury; Like this or NOT LIKE THIS AT ALL?
And here we have the heroine of The Paper, Amanda Lorber- probably wiser than any old wise black woman Stephen King could ever come up with.
And I know I just split my infinitive or dangled my participle or something there but I do not have Amanda Lorber here to help me with these things, okay?
Lorber: Enough emotional maturity to kill a small horse
And to prove it here is a letter she wrote in response to a Columbia University Journalist who was talking smack about her and rather than call him a cockdick* (which is how I tend to respond to insults - also sobbing. A lot of sobbing) she used her words to retaliate.
I think she must be some kind of God or something.
*She. The journalist was a She. Sooo…a cockvagina, maybe.
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12 comments
She sounds like a total fucking dork.
Sorry. Don’t hate me.
I don’t hate you Chris.
You’re just wrong.
Still friends.
Having worked in several newsrooms in my time, I can say with certainty that the shenanigans and hijinkery and backstabbing and cliquishness is inaccurate on The Paper. MTV has clearly toned it down so no one thinks it’s fake. Real newsrooms are much worse (or better, depending on your perspective). So if the Mercury is like weeklies that I’ve worked on, it’s shenanigans and hijinkery and backstabbing and cliquishness and then some. Don’t even get me started on dailies. You’re missing out!
I KNEW IT!
Does The Paper have a couch that you sink into and then look like an ass when you’re trying to get up and take a phone call from the office assisstant person and the call says something like, you’re a total ass, our lunch is tomorrow and the couch is brown?
Because, if it does, then it’s just like the Merc.
Yes.
Not wrong, just not in agreement with you.
Still friends!
I’m with Mrs. Hesselbee on this one. The letter freaking rocks. I thought it struck just the right tone… snarky but not rude. Certainly the gal from Columbia had it coming.
My only question is will this girl actually become a journalist or is she going to try and parlay this fame into something more?
BTW, I’ve finally discovered the perfect diet for my metabolism. Apparently I need to drink lots of beer, eat BBQ chicken and dance with the ladies.
No, really. I went to Shasta for the weekend and I came back 4 pounds lighter. I may write a self-help book.
Holy crap. I was NEVER that ballsy in high school. Way to go Amanda Lorber.
When they interviewed me, the first question was: “How are you with backstabbing?”
Answer: I AM BRILLIANT AT IT.
that girl is a little fat and we should support her no backstabbing lollll!!!
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