Stop touching my dog please.
People. Stop touching my dog.
I REALIZE she looks like this
But in reality she is more like this
Also? Tell your children to stop touching my dog.
So.
In summary:
STOP TOUCHING MY DOG.
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About Kiala Kazebee
I'm Kiala Kazebee and I made this blog for you because you smell so nice - like fresh laundry.
I live in Portland, OR with my husband Dane Hesseldahl and I write words for people who send me money in the mail. I have a problem with anxiety and with people who type "loose" instead of "lose".
I would love to go to a bar with you and rule the jukebox with an iron fist.
I like cats - sue me.
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Yes, I was reading this before and then stopped to dick around a lot on the internet but now it’s summer and this book is extraordinary. Hollinghurst is the gay Henry James (or, er, was James gay? It doesn’t matter) and any book which starts in 1980’s era Highgate and ends during a scorching summer in the South of France doesn’t need my endorsement. But I’m giving it anyway.-
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
20 comments
I ate sushi with Kiala Krazybee today! That makes me feel like a cross between those two dogs. At once placated and gentle but slightly crazed because why don’t we do that more often?!! Thanks for the raw fish!
Hey. Question about the second picture. Where’d you get that picture of my dog?
Melissa-
Yay for sushi! Sorry I am so shy all the time. If we had lunch more often that would go away.
Megan-
I have my spies. BTW, I like the underpants you’re wearing today. Ha! No.
Can you tell them to stop touching my dogs too? Or better yet, don’t even look at my dogs because they will probably try to bite you! Thanks!
Get a pit bull. People don’t touch dogs that look like pit bulls. They cross the street, even.
Does the dog like squirrels?
Maybe you need to put devil ears on your dog. Or paint a sign and hang it from her back…
ok, so we’ve established that you are very protective of your dog.
the question remains: how do you feel about strangers touching your pussy?
I have the sweetest dog in the world. I can grab onto his feet and roll him onto his back and spin him in a circle and he just look at me like, “Oh, mom.”
For some reason he will bark at children (only sometimes) if they come up to him, so i generally just keep he away as not to scare the kids, even though i know he wont do anything. so one day im at the park, some kid with his mom comes running up and porkchop starts barking. the kid runs away shrieking in terror and the mom starts to yell at me that I shouldnt have my dog around people if we is dangerous.
I told her mine was on a leash, maybe she should think about keeping her kid on one so he doesnt run up to random dogs and scare the shit out of them.
she shut up after that.
STAY AWAY FROM MY DOG TOO.
I’m sorry I wasn’t more funny. For some reason, the funny has left me this week. I don’t know. I think it’s because I’ve sworn off hookers and blow.
Hookers and blow are always funny, right? I mean, was that just funny? Someone help me. Where did I leave the funny?
I understand what you’re saying.
I don’t like people touching my Alice either.
Someday she’s going to take somebody’s pinkie toe off and I’m going to let her.
But look at that face! Oh ZZ! Oh cute little ZZ!
P.S.
The gentle leader does not work for us anymore. Jack has officially beaten it.
arielle, not necessarily true—it’s usually the people we absolutely don’t want to approach us who try to pet our pit bulls… luckily one of them is super happy to meet any strangers but as soon as someone approaches the other one (Hurricane Katrina rescue with doggy-PTSD) she goes ballistic… and now I’ll stop rambling. anyway, with pit bulls you either get a) pit bull lovers or b) deranged aggressive lunatics wanting to pet your dog. no one is immune.
I hear ya! I have a dog who has the prettiest sweetest face and she allows me to grab it and plant kisses all over it. She does not like it when other people assume that cute means friendly and that they can grab her face and plant kisses all over it. It does not. It means that you are about to be bitten by a cute dog. And her owner.
*hi! i came here by way of crissy
I borrowed my parents’ dog for a hike through Forest Park over the weekend and ran into the opposite problem. The pooch is apparently convinced that the entire world needs to be licked. This includes the hands of strangers, random feet, butterflies, ferns, mud, trash cans, benches and various parts of the “witch house.” Her skewed world view + random hikers trying to pet her = disaster.
I find the whole not having a dog idea to be an adequate solution to this problem.
less licks + less hair + less poop + being able to leave my home whenever I feel like it = happy me
Dingo, mine is the same way. I can grab her little face in both my hands and say things in the most annoying high pitched voice ever while attacking her with kisses…but if another dog or person so much as BREATHES in her direction…it’s game over. The lips curl up and the hair stands up and while she is way too big of a baby to ever do anything, her looks belie her true intentions and scare the shit out of people and animals alike. I love my dog.
April - so true. My nice pit bulls (plural because they were all fosters), people scowl at those, but the one I had who was terrified, hiding behind my legs, cowering and growling, people didn’t read that as a sign to back off. We all need the dog shirts that warn “I bite fingers.” Or in my dog’s case, “I bite faces.”
I touch your dog. I touch it up.
If your dog can sniff my balls, I should certainly have the right to pet your dog, especially since this is the socially acceptable way of removing snout from crotch - as we are petting the dog, we are also gently pushing his nose away from our genitals.
Also, thanks to TV Shows like Lassie and movies like Benji, our culture has grown accustomed to the idea that it is okay to pet friendly-looking dogs that are in public and not muzzled.
This reminds of the situation where people with tattoos and piercings complain about strangers staring at their handiwork. I mean, Jesus Christ, if you are displaying art on your body, what do you expect?
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