Famous Person Interview:Revealed!
Well, it’s official. I have completely lost the ability to drink alcohol.
A moment of silence would not be uncalled for right now.
Last night, we all went out to dinner and I had three margaritas. THREE. Not seven or ten or thirty. THREE. And this morning I woke up with what I think was encephalitis. It is the only medically sound reason I can think of which would explain the pain coming from inside and around my head. And we were out of Advil. EMERGENCY.
And if I didn’t have plans with my Mom this afternoon (she doesn’t know this yet but I think those plans might include her bringing me a latte and placing a cool wet towel on my forehead while I weep softly to myself on the couch) and a movie review to write I totally would have taken the vicodin we have in the cupboard. Except I didn’t actually think of that until right this moment. WHY DIDN’T I TAKE THE VICODIN?
I am dumb. With an emphasis on the stupid.
I think my ever increasing limited capacity for alcohol has everything to do with my shorts still being a little tight (muffin top noooo!) and cutting out my regular evening three glasses of wine is an easy way to right this situation. It just kind of pisses me off that all the years I put into learning how to hold my liquor are now for naught. Or moot. Or whatever the smart words are.
Anyway, that’s all I’ve got today in terms of blogsiness, HOWEVER, I do have something special for all my Fotsies out there (Face of the cookies=Fotsies…I’m trying it out). You have all been busy caring about important things and not giving a crap about my stupid famous bullshit so patient and nice waiting to hear about the Famous Person article and today is the day you find out who it is!
After the jump. Hee.
TORI MOTHER EFFING SPELLING.
RIGHT?
Or, is that disappointing?
And here’s the article I wrote if you’re interested. It’s been edited a little, so the parts you think are stupid I blame on someone whose name rhymes with Ferik Penrikson, Film Editor. Except, um, no…the stupid parts are my fault (BLAME FERIK PENRIKSON ANYWAY).
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22 comments
Sooooo. . . Was Christian Bale there?
Bravo!
Also, I don’t like Fotsies.
How about Cookie Monsters?
Oh! I’m here all day folks!
Sit on it Fotsie!
I don’t want to be a Fotsie. It sounds too much like Potsie and everyone knows he’s a bafoon.
As is Tori Fucking Spelling, apparently.
Great article!
I would like to be you, please.
Freakin’ hilarious. Dane must have rock hard abs from laughing at you, I mean with you, all the time.
Was she as ugly on the phone as she is on TV?
Not Disappointing at All. Quite hilarious. How many people were in on the group interview - that’s a little odd right? Or do I just not know anything?
I like Fotsies.
Jess- Yes, he was, I failed to mention it because I passed out the second I saw him and stayed that way until he left.
Chris- No Cookie Monsters. Let’s keep brainstorming.
Kristen- Yes, you’re right. Potsie. Bad. But cute! Um, no, you have abeautiful house, child, and husband. I have only one of those things. And you’re blonde and funny and smart. You win!
Stacey- Only if by “rock hard abs” you mean “the best belly ever”, then yes!
Justin- Uglier.
Meg- It was weird…and it was like eight people and they were all dudes having a penis fight over who was more affronted about doing a group interview. Yay! One for fotsies. Okay, we’ll keep the polls open.
Most excellent. I just think she didn’t understand your fancy words about elasticity and sexuality. You should have put it to her in a way she’d understand — how far does one’s skin stretch to accommodate ginormous breast implants? See — elasticity?
I don’t think it’s funny to joke about encephalitis.
Also, I’ve just begun stalking you. Because I love Tori Spelling and you are now my closest connection to you.
Okay, I would like to be me with your job and your hair.
How’s that?
And I would be willing to be called a “Frookie.”
Dude. Ditto. After fourish beers last night. I am worried.
I was in the bookstore and she rote a BOOK. STORI Telling. Ick.
where’s the “c” is the fotsies? the cookie is the most important part!
or is the “sies” part the “c”? If i dont understand it, how will….wait. im sure everyone else gets it. Ill just pretend I am as smart as everyone else. Thats howI got through ages 3-present.
also- used to be able to polish off half a fifth in highschool and still remember….had a margarita (ONE) at red robin last night and was giggling like an idiot. almost had the boy drive home. I think I killed my liver. Im 21 years old. Theoretically, i should have just started on my pickled liver quest. Its was over so soon.
I drank a watermelon margarita last night. A frothy pink concoction with frosted green sugar rim. So Lilly Pulitzer. I think my husband said I was chanting about dancing with penguins on the ride home.
*has a moments silence for the loss of alcohol consumption*
I had a drink the other night for the first time in months. I was drunk on less than 2 glasses of wine. JOY.
obviously i don’t have to tell you that your rate of consumption plus your stomach contents pre-drink have a LOT to do with how you feel it. i always know i’m getting into trouble when i have to pee every 10 minutes and it is pure, clear water.
i have taken very kindly to mixing my drugs up. you know, a little bit of this, a little bit of that. it’s harder to hit a moving target.
obviously brando in his heyday had a hell of a lot more going for him than TS: he actually had talent and charisma.
Have you ever tried drinking wine the ancient Greek way? Mix it with water. You can drink a lot longer that way, and it sure takes the stank off an inferior wine.
Kiala, you know I haven’t had a tolerance since we were like, 23. Now there’s a rumor going around that I don’t drink. “Sy doesn’t drink.” Like maybe I’m a Mormon or an alcoholic or Jake Merriman. Or all of them at once. Truth is, I just don’t drink *much* . This is to my advantage though because it only takes like, 2 drinks to get me *wasted*. That means that I am in fact, a cheap date. It works out for everybody.
But what I meant to say was- I looooove your interview.
You finally reveal the mystery interviewee and it’s while I’m MIA! Damnit all!
Well that’s pretty cool anyway. Donna Martin. Did she ever graduate?
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