Beluuuuga.

Let me tell you about a terrible idea I once had.

One time I decided to drink 3 margaritas with dinner and then follow that up with a Makers diet and 2 beers for dessert. Also, I didn’t really eat much at the dinner, possibly because I was too full from a giant movie pretzel.

Ok, so yes, I had this terrible idea last night.

It started out like this – just me shootin’ the poop with George Clooney about you know, hair products and italian villas and ladies and savile row tailoring and stuff…

michael clayton

And then Dane attempted to make new friends utilizing the sneak attack method popularized by villains in silent films.

ned!

After which his methods became more aggressive and, um, AWESOME.

oh dane.

And then fake violence ensued, probably because I told Portland that Jared Leto put on 700 pounds for a film role which is blatantly untrue and now competent film editors have to clean up the mess made by rogue freelancing hacks with half a journalism degree and a penchant for lying. Luckily, we have a safe word so no one was hurt. It is “Piers Anthony”. Now you know.

fight!

It was fun.

And now I am laying on the couch nursing my eighteenth Diet Coke and watching The Dukes of Hazzard because it is incredibly comforting. Do not look at me like that with your judgey eyes and judgey face.

I AM MAKING MY WAY THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW, OKAY?

9 comments

1 Robert { 04.17.08 at 3:57 pm }

I love going out for drinks on the weekdays.

2 melissa lion { 04.17.08 at 4:03 pm }

You work a scarf like no one else. Can you teach a class on that? And then maybe we can attend pole dancing classes because I like book learnin’.

3 nate { 04.17.08 at 5:43 pm }

Did you not get the memo that making your way the only way you know how is just a little bit more than the law will allow?

Consider it gotten.

4 Kristen { 04.17.08 at 6:39 pm }

I see you decided to take your new earrings out cocktailing.

5 mickey { 04.17.08 at 8:36 pm }

And that’s all you can do. Just make sure you leave the windows down.

6 chris { 04.18.08 at 8:03 am }

tell george he still owes me $20 and i’m not gonna forget about it.

7 Meg { 04.18.08 at 2:32 pm }

I agree with Melissa – HOT scarf. Also, isn’t it impressive how much George knows about hair products? He’s such a good source for that kind of shit.

8 Joy @ Big Time Fancy { 04.18.08 at 3:36 pm }

I love when I have terrible ideas like that.

9 Paulie { 04.20.08 at 12:32 am }

It’s a lie. A caustic yarn. Right?

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