Wherein I compare Battlestar Galactica to The Hills.
I realize about half of you give a shit about BSG and the other half of you are all like, where’s the post about how the people at Forever 21 make you feel riddled with insecurity and self doubt? So, in an effort to bring us all together (although after the last few days, I feel like we really grew immeasurably closer, don’t you? Like in a zombie movie kind of way, where we fight together or die together, right?) I am going to try my darndest to compare Battlestar to The Hills. Please bear with me.
First of all, now that we know who eleven of the twelve cylon models are, there are going to be many very uncomfortable conversations between well, EVERYONE. Not unlike in this season of The Hills, where Spencer’s sister Stephanie (or ShePratt as she’s known in the blogosphere) just happens to wind up in Lauren’s “computer” class (not really a class - more of an excuse for Lauren to wear awesome Grace Kelly glasses and pretend to look smart at something and similar to Gaius Baltar’s wearing awesome Elvis Costello glasses and pretending to look smart at test tubes or whatever). Stephanie and Lauren have a very awkward confrontation/apology about “hey I thought you were a bitch/cylon but it turns out I was the bitch/cylon and now we can be friends”. RIGHT? Are you with me on this people?
Ok, I’m really warming to my theme here - all those literary criticism classes weren’t for nothing, Mom!
Second of all, Starbuck is back and she’s some kind of Messiah…maybe - which totally mimics the return of Justin Booby Bobby Stephen! Back from the dead and wreaking havoc on mankind. The prodigal son/daughter returns home and with him comes the hope of what? Salvation? OR DESTRUCTION? Dun dun dun.
And finally, within the first five episodes of BSG we’ll learn who the frak the twelfth cylon is which is just like in The Hills when we learn that…umm…pull it together, Kiala. We learn that, er, Brody is the, fuuuck, the father of all mankind? Human and cylon alike? Ok, my theory kind of fell apart there. But STILL, the first two were pretty good, I think.
Ahem.
Next Friday I will compare BSG to Hell’s Kitchen. See you then!
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16 comments
I agree. With what, I have no idea. But I do.
What the fuck is The Hills, anyway? Some kind of reimagining of The Beverly Hillbillies or something?
I don’t think I could have found a blog post that I am less-qualified to respond to.
But I’ll give it a shot anyway:
I completely disagree? Cylons are not like the girls from the Hills because if you think about it Battlestar Galactica is like a quiet whisper in the refrigerator of life.
Did I do good?
The Hills is the greatest show ever…..a spin off of Laguna Beach.
Also, I don’t watch BSG but I think the way you describe Starbuck coming back is more reminiscent of Steven coming back into Lauren’s life (this is also because I had no idea Justin Bobby was coming back)….just a thought.
Ok, dumb followup question time: what’s Laguna Beach? A restaurant?
Could I have picked a more appropriate name for my blog?
I saw that one of the actresses on BSG was hot.
That’s something, right?
You mean Xena?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laguna_Beach scroll to the bottom-under MTV
and
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hills_%28TV_series%29
Enjoy!
Ooooooooh. Jeeze. This is awkward.
I haven’t seen either show.
BUT! I have seen Hell’s Kitchen.
Are we still cool?
Melissa - Good. Perfect.
Justin Stanley - You have to know what The Hills is…you’re married.
Robert - Well, OBVIOUSLY.
Becky - BRILLIANT. I’ve changed the theory to reflect your input.
Justin - It’s a beach. In Laguna. And a show. I grew up there.
Chris - They’re all hot. The men actually suck, lookswise, in comparison. But I still love Chief. He has a little belly.
Justin - He must mean Starbuck. Or Boomer. I don’t like highlighted Xena.
Becky - Very informative. I hope Justin has learned something.
Kristen - We are good. Next week is all about you.
I do not know what the Hills is either. I will ask Liam- he will know. He is much better at the pop culture. You should have seen him explain to Devin the Hannah Montana/ Miley Cyrus thing.
What bothers me about BSG is the Abercrombie and Fitch casting, a trend that has started to plague too many movies/shows as of late. Have you seen the movie Sunshine? Of course the mission gets totally fucked up. They’re all twenty two and beautiful. And if there’s one thing we all know, beautiful twenty two year olds can’t fly spaceships. BSG= Joeys in space. I’m not having it.
Okay, so did you see the 8 minute “What the frak is going on?” clip that recapped the first three seasons? It was so awesome. Then I watched the first new episode and I was all, “but they said ONE WOULD BE REVEALED! Where’s the new cylon?!”
Sy- Can he explain the Hannah Montana thing to me, too? Please?
Dave- Good point. I still liked Sunshine though.
nacypearlwannabe- I did see it! I guess the new one will be revealed within the first five episodes? I, for one, hope it’s Dagget.
I’m so goddamn old. Thank god they have the episode available online any time… 10pm on a work day, when I get up at 5:30am, is waaaaaay too late for my almost-34-year-old ass. I keep dozing off in my Craftmatic adjustable bed during commercials.
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