Etiquette and my work processes. ees. Processesess. Stupid words.
I am sick. And when I’m sick all I can do is talk about how sick I am and how much being sick hurts and sometimes burns my eyes and also, how I’m sick. And that is BORING, am I right? So I will attempt to not talk about how sick I am and how it BURNS. My eyes.
I had a deadline this morning for two film reviews and naturally, since I knew about them since last Thursday I got them both done right away Friday morning.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
No. I wrote them this morning. Because that is how I do it and THANK GOD no one from the Mercury reads my blog or I’d be in some hot wa-
Oh.
I actually spent the better part of yesterday picking away at one of the reviews but I was coming down with this flu aids cancer cold thing I have and so - oh! DIGRESSION. Apparently, according to some people on Twitter, making fun of AIDS is “Totally.Not.Funny.”
It’s not? Because I am fairly certain that Patton Oswalt, Sarah Silverman and anyone with a sense of humor will disagree with that statement. And since when did people start censoring other people on Twitter? Just stop following me for shit’s sake. And, AND..the statement I made was just the one I said up there…about having a flu cancer aids cold. It’s not like I wished AIDS on Twitter. Outloud.
Maybe this person was kidding, but it didn’t seem like they were kidding. I mean, people make fun of heart attacks and strokes all the time because that is how we deal with scary things in this world. Is it because it’s an epidemic? So now I can’t make fun of the flu or obesity or non emos rioting against emos? WHYFOR?
Also, this person is a respected blogger in the Portland Blogging Community (I KNOW. I’m already thinking it. So you don’t have to say it), which kind of blows because I don’t really want to start an internet war - AND I DO HOPE THEY WERE KIDDING - but I will. And you can be sure The Poor will pay for it in taxes and late payment fees. And AIDS.
See, NOW you can get mad.
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40 comments
don’t joke about war either. you said war didn’t you. or taxes or epidemics.
the only things that should be joked about are silly hats and dogs with human names. wait… I have a dog with a human name, so don’t do that either. only silly hats.
I’m sorry I got you sick. It’s because I’m POOR. And contagious.
I love making fun of Aids. I like to call it the High Five disease. Get it? The HIV virus - like HI - V (the roman numeral for five). See - It’s funny. Aids - HAHA!
Did I go too far?
When I was an adolescent, if you tried to tell someone that using the word “gay” to mean “bad” or lame” is sort of, well, gay (to use terminology that they’d understand), it would automatically mean that I was actually a closet homosexual. See the logic? I guess the moral of the story is that the Portland Blogging Community has AIDS. And is gay.
James - I just bought Imakefunofsillyhats.com. I also just bought AIDSisfunny.com
Sy - And now you have AIDS too. So-RRY.
Meg- High Five! You are awesome.
Charley- This is why you are in charge of things at an important place. Because you are brilliant.
kiala - surprised it was available. I smell a guest blog post coming on when the domain is up and functional. haha
HI-V was a bit far… but in a funny smart way.
Here’s a thought on being funny, and it won’t be funny, but rather heartfelt — I know– so in the movie The Aristocrats The Onion staff says the only thing that’s taboo in comedy is race. And then they cracked on black people. And it was funny.
And Miss Kiala: You are the one who told me, crossing the line is the way to do humor. So cross it, baby.
And, as Meg has demonstrated, AIDS is really, really funny. High Five. I’m still laughing.
Oh, and a guy on Good Reads today gave my picture two stars. TWO STARS. It’s me in black panties and sexy shoes. TWO STARS. For fuck’s sake. People need to shut it. Except us. We can talk and make fun of retarded people and poor people. And I’d like to add Eskimos to the list. Those assholes with their ice house. Give me a break.
Like I needed another reason to want to pee on Twitter.
oh i am sooooooooo down for a blog war. Who are we fucking up???
let’s do it!
this my blog talking, he’s very manly.
Do the delete!
And here’s my spiel: Everything can be funny or not funny depending on the situation.
Silly hats can be really, really unfunny sometimes. Like if it is on top of a dying child. Dying of AIDS.
P.S. I keep wanting to type it AIDs or Aids. But its AIDS.
The real issue here is that you think Sarah Silverman is funny. Please recant and tell me this was tongue-in-cheek. I’ll go read another Pearl District-based blog, I swear.
What about dying Eskimos children with AIDS wearing silly hats giving HI-V(s)?
Now that is humor my friend.
Be careful or Henry the 4th’ll getcha! (H IV … GET IT???)
Seriously, throw a cup full of ebola at that douche.
You want to know the funniest thing in the world, for cereal? A retarded Mexican child with AIDS. And Tourettes.
What I don’t think this “respected blogger” understands is that by being offended by statements like this, she gives them power. She seems to lack the basic reasoning to discern the difference between what is meant to be hurtful, and what isn’t.
I think it’s tragic, because she’s doing those she purports to defend a dis-service by giving your statement a meaning and connotation it wasn’t intended to have, and creating an insult where there was none intended.
I knew this girl in college who was so obsessed with being what she considered a “liberal” that she made it a point to befriend any black person that she met, and would defend them to the death whenever anyone said ANYTHING negative about them, regardless of whether or not it was true. She was the biggest racist I have ever known.
This blogger reminds me of her, a horrible Portland cliche.
I thought the high-five comment meant that when guys are having a gay threesome in which they will most certainly contract AIDS, they high five each other because they are having so much fun.
THATS how you cross a line.
Dear Dane,
You’re clearly a racist.
Love,
Charley
You know how you can make fun of your mom and her little quirks, but if someone else does it - it kind of rubs you that way? Humor is kind of like that. Jokes about retarded kids, fat people, blacks, jews, cripples, gays or any other easy target are funny unless you happen to 1) be retarded, fat, black, jewish, crippled, or gay or 2) love any of the above mentioned groups.
I’m guessing some of the posters here are too young to remember a time when their friends started dying and there was NO treatment what-so-ever. I’m not too young to remember when my friends started dying of AIDS and there was no treatment to save them. Not exactly pretty deaths, either. So AIDS, to me, is not funny.
Sometimes when you hit a nerve, and it surprises you and you are shocked by the response you get - it is a good idea to dig deeper at why a person responded the way they did. AIDS will never be funny for me for some very painful reasons.
But go ahead and laugh - if you must.
People die. My father died of alcohol poisoning when I was a child. A friend of mine died last year after his truck was swept into a river. another friend even more recently was killed in a head on collision with a drunk driver. It happens. AIDS isnt the only way people die. If you cant laugh, what else is there left to do.
Kiala was just saying she was sick. AIDS kills people in a terrible way, which she was using it to convey how awful she felt. I currently have the flu, which theoretically, i could die from. I am not offended.
The mention of Patton Oswald offended me a bit, however. His chipmunk cheeks bother me.
Sorry, chipmunks, dont write me any letters, please.
Exactly Kelly T. Thank you.
Political Correctness taken too far brings us to a place where we can no longer laugh at ourselves or create discussion without fear of reprisal. Didn’t we learn anything from the nineties?
Wait just a goddamn second here.
Everyone just back the fuck up.
Clearly its the cancer part of the joke we should be getting all offended about. I mean really.
Shut up, faggots!
I would like to say for the record here that Robert is not a hate monger. He’s a love monger.
Kelly T however is a twat for not recognizing Patton Oswalt’s brilliance. He keeps it stuffed in his cheeks.
(I just wanted to say “twat” on the internet. She’s not a twat at all. Is there an opposite of twat?!??)
I was trying to be humorous in that new “offend everybody” way of comedy that is so hot right now. I messed it up.
Plus I just re-watched that Zach Galifaniakiochaiuas clip and he made me laugh. He does it better.
No. You did it right. Like a fag. That’s how faggots do it. I just had a sudden attack of liberal guilt and anxiety.
It passed.
God, political correctness makes my pits itch. Pretty soon, people will say the Holocaust isn’t funny. Come on! It’s very twat-like to take oneself and ones painful experiences so seriously. Right? I mean, people dying painfully and needlessly is hysterical. . . Back me up, guys!
This is the best comment thread ever. Thank you, Portland.
Nothing is sacred. Except my mom. Don’t ever joke about my mom, assholes. I’m serious.
SCreeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEeech.
Don’t you ever……. laugh at my car.
opposite of twat…I got nothing.
Apparently there is a new movement to change “gay” to “gey” when using it to describe something that is stupid or gay. Wait, I confused myself.
Gretchen -
I love that you attempt describe what humor is to us… It reminds me of a blind man attempting to describe his favorite painting, or a Jew describing his favorite pork dish. Seriously….lighten the fuck up!
It is people like you that undermine any sort of rational argument any liberal has ever made. Your kind of “knee-jerk” liberalism does way more damage than good, and serves only as a vessel to feed your own ego. Remember in the early 90’s right after the Clarence Thomas hearings, when just HAVING female co-workers was grounds for litigation? It’s like you operate in that mode all the time. What this does is make it impossible for those of us who actually have INTELLIGENT arguments to make about IMPORTANT things to ever take a stand on something, without being compared to your Branch Davidian-like devotion to argument for arguments sake.
Also - how dare you insinuate that your life has seen more tragedy than mine, I find that assertion both naive and offensive. We’ve all watched friends die, so take your self righteous bullshit elsewhere.
You embarrass me and intelligent liberals everywhere.
I thought the aids twitter post was very funny.
kiala - dane is awesome.
“Jokes about retarded kids, fat people, blacks, jews, cripples, gays or any other easy target…”
Not to get in on this argument that much - but why are blacks, jews and gays easy targets?
I mean retards, cripples and fat people are easy - just LOOK at them. But I fail to see why blacks, jews and gays are easy “targets.”
So what do you guys think of someone who DOESN’T find AIDS jokes funny? I don’t have a long explanation why like Gretchen. Just curious.
Caitlin,
Personally, I don’t have a problem with people who don’t find AIDS jokes funny — people should live how they want in the privacy of their own homes. But I wish they wouldn’t go flaunting their lifestyle, spreading it all around and stuff. That’s just offensive.
Wow. I really missed some shit. I agree, Dane is awesome.
Kiala, you’re not so bad yourself.
Haha. Touche. (Is use of the word “touche” on this site acceptable?)
Since we are talking about something I can actually add something to (sorry, Battlestar Galactica NERDS, call me when you discuss Star Trek: The Next Generation) I’ll add my thoughts on Caitlin’s comment.
I don’t think anything about someone who doesn’t think AIDS jokes are funny. Or snail jokes. Or knock knock jokes. No one makes a joke with the idea that every single person should find it hilarious or tasteful. Well, maybe Gallagher. But I digress.
The thing about jokes is they work, or they don’t - but if they work for you then laugh. If they don’t work then don’t laugh. But If I tell a snail joke to someone (and I have a great snail joke about a snail being murdered) and they don’t laugh.. ’snot a big deal. What SNIZZ a big deal is if I told that joke and someone said “hey man - murder isn’t funny. Murder is NEVER funny.” or “Hey, I’m from PETA and dead snails should never be joked about.” To that I would say “hey, keep it to yourself.”
In fact, I’m going to make a declaration! About the ENTIRE INTERNET! Let’s all treat the internet like it is a house party, and we all like house parties, right? But then, sometimes at the house party someone likes George Bush. And everyone knows the basic rules for a party: leave decisive issues out and everyone just have a drink and listen to music and have fun.
And maybe try to get laid a little bit.
[…] (She also believes that I’m a lesbian, but I digress…) You can follow her train of thought here and here. The comment from “Gretchen” in the earlier of the two posts is from […]
There are so many things that I really need to be doing right now… but I just found your blog and have fallen in love. The videos and stories are cracking me up.
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