Here’s how it went down. (People still say that right? RIGHT?)
So I went with this
Vegans.
And these
Not Vegans
I also went with drinking three and a half vodka sodas and either making three new friends or giving three new people a lot of ammunition if they were ever to, oh I don’t know, write about me in a slambook or just stand in the hallway at work and make fun of me. Because that is what I would do if the situation were reversed. I’m kind of an asshole that way.
So it was super fun last night and I hadn’t been to Club 21 in a million years which made feel decrepit but I am used to that. I don’t know why it bothers me when I’m older than people now - I’m older than Dane by a good five years (he’s 29) and that never upsets me. To make matters worse I end up saying mildly offensive things like, “I haven’t been here since I was 25 and I would usually end up crying in the rain around midnight because that is what 25 year olds do”…to the 25 year olds sitting next to me.
Goodness.
Anyway, Matt and Alison and Erik (and Melissa, of course) were all very charming and funny and fun (although I believe at one point Matt tried to talk about sports with Dane, who knows nothing about sports, which resulted in Matt calling Dane a girl nine or ten times - and I think this completely endeared him to Dane) and we laughed a lot and I learned about the King of Cocktails and the jiggling Guinness machine - although I have yet to see the jiggling Guinness machine in action so as far as I’m concerned it’s still a myth, like narwhals or the holocaust or global warming - and Melissa taught us all how to write a book using mathematics and we learned that Erik knows a suspicious amount of plot points concerning Sweet Valley High.
Oh, and Matt smoked the shit out of a cigarette.
And in the end, I lost track of how many times I put my foot in it. At my age, it’s all I can do just to stay upright after Final Jeopardy is over.
UPDATE - Oh! The vegan potluck was really fun and we had tequila shots and met many nice dogs and ate guacamole and now I am hungover and I just found out that this is following me on Twitter which just pushed my hangover into the suicidal region.
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16 comments
Did you say Sweet Valley High? That makes me want to move to Portland and meet this Erik. I too have a suspicious amount of plot point knowledge as well and would love to share it with someone. Plus, my name is Jessica Elizabeth. . . something only a fellow SVH fan could appreciate.
That link you put up has me both suicidal AND in need of a stiff drink or 12. Oy.
And, apparently, I hate to proofread my comments. Disregard the as well? Thanks all.
Gorgeous earrings!! Can I have them?
Also, I hope you’re able to welcome JC into your life. Just think about it - he could probably help you acquire a large bunny rabbit.
Today I’m drinking green tea. Just so you know.
If Jesus is just handing out 100 lb. bunnies, then you can count me in.
Do I get a jersey or something?
Sweet Valley Twins FOREVER!
I made a narwhal last night. It’s like a beautiful dream.
I too, have a hard time understanding Men Who Don’t Like Sports, but I try my best to relate in other ways.
Okay, sometimes I make fun of them.
But I’m sure you’re cool in many, many ways that I’m not Dane.
It’s cool. I do cry a lot.
Jess-Right? A CONVENIENT GOD. WTF? Jessica Elizabeth. That’s precious.
Meg-You may borrow them anytime. You’re reeally turning me around on this whole Jesus thing.
Melissa- Me too. Until 5. Then I am drinking a klonopin and wine cocktail.
Dane- No bunny for you.
Isabelle-You made a narwhal? Out of what? Tell me more please.
Chris- Maybe you could talk to Matt Davis about sports for Dane.
Alison- But do you sob? Because I think I used to sob. Drunkenly. With snot maybe.
Isnt the whole idea of god convenient? You know, oops i murdered someone but i said sorry, not to the family but to god, and now i am forgiven! yay!
Gorgeous earrings, and gorgeous ladies.
Are you passed out in the picture or doing an alluring myspace pose? I so just called you out.
i dont even know you but i like reading your blog. it is way better than mine. you are funny in the way i like to think i am funny, but am not.
Are you really 34? You don’t look it AT ALL.
Kelly T - Both. And I will meet you at the bike racks. Three O’Clock. Bitch. (No! Not Bitch!)
em - Thank you. You are funny. YOU ARE.
Karen - I really, really am. And thank you . I will feel much better tonight when I go out.
I’m sure Vegan-on-the-far-right is a nice, kinda, charitable, baby-seal saving soul who I’d trust with the life of my first born…
But it totally cracks me up that she’s clavicling.
ok, but I’m warning you, I scratch and pull hair. I think. I mean, I’ve never really been in a fight, but it seems like something I would do.
But I would like to shank someone someday. SHANK. How badass does that sound? Just say it.
Convenience is a sin now? Shit.
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