Decisions, shmecisions.
Tonight we are going to a vegan potluck at my friend Jen’s house but I’m a little tentative about whether we’ll make it there or not due to an exciting happy hour meeting we are having over in NE Portland with Melissa and some new writerly friends.
Apparently, I am going to be introduced to “The King of Cocktails” which I can only assume is a bottle of tequila waved lovingly around a wedge of lime. I’m probably wrong about this as I am about oh, so many things.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to both of these events and I’m sitting here - four hours to go - trying to figure out what I should wear even though I shouldn’t care because I’m all cerebral and erudite and learned and crap.
Jen’s friends are all Eastside vegans with vegan tattoos and vegan hairgel and vegan babies and the new happy hour writer friends have never seen me in person before and I would like to underwhelm overwhelm them with my presence so I should probably put some thought into you know, deoderant and fashion maybe.
I was thinking I could wear something kitschy and indie like Miranda July
but it would probably come off more like this
And maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, actually. That jumpsuit looks like it could hold a lot of snacks and mentos and things.
Still, I want to put my best foot forward prior to putting it in my mouth as I will almost certainly do and I am ready and willing to take suggestions for wardrobe choices. Also, makeup and flossing techniques.
Bring it on internet.
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17 comments
so i’m trying to come up with something, but being A Man, I’m not very good at that kinda thing.
so I think you should just wear that jumpsuit. Or at least hang out with that guy. Often.
just do like I do and dress like you are a lumberjack on vacation.
I have to say that Miranda July makes me want to pour chicken blood on myself and tear my own hair out.
If there is a god, she’ll go the way of the Macarena. Please, someone make her go that way. Please.
really? I think she’s dreamy… except I hate performance art, feminists, girlzines, and basically everything else that she stands for.
But I bet she smells like strawberries.
I think you’ll be fine as long as you don’t get drunk and start doing the Macarena.
Lederhosen.
I bet she bought that shirt at urban outfitters for $90.
I vote anything but leggings. THEY ARE NOT PANTS.
Agreed on the leggings. I tried to buy what I thought were tights the other day, only to bring them home, take them out of the package and put them on to find that my feet and ankles were NAKED. Then my cat licked my toe. She apparently approves of this sort of leg wear.
don’t wear leather shoes. your vegan friends will be mad at you.
i don’t like performance art either. like that scene in “she’s all that.” freddy prinze jr. hack-e-sac. hac-e-sac. so painful.
i hope you wore the jumpsuit. not a fur one though. keep that in the closet for your hunting friends’ potluck.
I thought you looked very nice.
My God! I need seven of those jumpsuits! One for each day. Also maybe one extra for sleeping.
seeing as you have already gone out (and i have no fashion/deodorant advice whatsoever), i will just say that i hope you wore the jumpsuit. i think i need to get one.
Does Miranda spell it womyn? Cause if she does, then I hate her.
Are there techniques for flossing? I just kind of go for it if I do it at all.
It’s too late now, but are you sure these writer-types will be wearing clothes? You never know with writer-types.
It’s not about what you wear, it’s about how you wear it.
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