Roll out the unwelcome mats everyone!
Saturday night before the DJ Easter Egg Nemo party, Justin, Megan, Dane and I all went to dinner at The Gold Dust Meridian on Hawthorne. It was super dark and cozy in there (although for some reason Dane insists it was brightly lit, which is A BOLD FACED LIE but I love him anyway) and they serve lady cocktails which is perfect for me because I like to order drinks that would otherwise embarrass normal people.
So we sat down in the booth and Megan and I were ecstatic at how hidden we were from the prying eyes and judgment of sullen twentysomethings and then our waiter came over and smacked us in the face.
Ok, to be fair, we were sitting at a table with dirty glasses on it which is a restaurant sin and we were SORRY but it was the only booth available and I don’t think you can put a price on privacy, am I right?
Anyway, he was pretty peeved at us even though we apologized and looked chagrined and everything - and then Dane realized that he used to work at The Alibi (or maybe still does). I think we were both about to say something to him but when the lasers shot out of his eyes and his hands morphed into machine guns, we decided it probably wasn’t the right time for a reunion and maybe we’d better just do what he says and let him wipe down the table. So we did. Also, we may have given him all our cash and valuable jewelry. I can’t really remember. It was kind of harrowing.
And when he asked to see our id’s, we all heard him clearly except Justin who was busy sleeping with his eyes open because this was his second night out in a row and when you get to be our age that becomes a logistical impossibility.
So we all got out our identification and Justin saw what was happening and said to no one in particular, “Oh, I’m so glad you all knew what he was saying because I just saw everyone reaching under the table and I thought maybe we were all taking our pants off and wouldn’t I have been embarrassed to be the only one at this table without any pants on?”
And just like that, our waiter’s mood experienced an abrupt sea change and I swear to God if he could have hoisted Justin up onto his shoulders and paraded him around the restaurant, he would have.
And I would have taken pictures, I promise you. With the flash on. DANE.
Subscribe to my RSS Feed
11 comments
Yes, sorry Dane, but I wanted to go there only because it was described as “dimly lit” and it did not disappoint. You would remember if it were bright lighting, because I would have been hiding under the table.
HOIST. hoist.
I’ve been drinking for two days straight too. I’m tired and ready to go back to obsessively checking blogs now…
if my hands could morph into machine guns, I think I’d be the happiest person alive.
Wait staff sucks. I find it polite to just appologize right off the bat for everything Iwill spill, all my special order instructions, my tiny tip, and for the fact that my party will linger long after we are finished eating. Then they get all snooty and don’t even try. GET OVER YOURSELVES.
The pants comment is priceless. haha
i had a similar situation when i was pulled over once and my two friends in the back seat (who may have been sort of high as kites, details) thought the officer said get out of the car and remove your pants though what he REALLY said was “license and registration please.” you can see how those two could be confused.
So Justin saved the day? Way to go, Justin!
He’s a good guy to have around.
Megan- I wish that lighting would follow me around throughout my daily errands.
Isabelle- Moist. Ewww.
Melissa - People stop obsessively checking blogs? Is that even POSSIBLE?
Chris- How do you know you can’t? Have you tried? Try harder.
Kelly T- Maybe try saying all of that with interpretive dance. I think it will help.
James- It’s funny right? He’s funny.
Ashley- I would have peed my pants and thus would have needed to take them off. Ok. Huh. Maybe I was with you that night.
Mickey - He did! Everything was easy as pie after that. Extra crackers? No problem! More water? No problem! It was like a dream.
G-Damn! That pants comment made me laugh out loud and I’m at WORK - now people think I find cash application funny. Nobody will ever want to be my friend. Thanks a lot.
Leave a Comment