A glimpse inside the Hesselbee social calendar!
Well.
I think we’ve all learned a thing or two in the past day or so about my, er, inability to function in polite society due to a penchant for what my friend Dave calls, “Books about wyverns, beholders, and wizardwood”.
So today Dane and I are going out into the world to buy clothes and shoes and maybe drink some cocktails around now five and then tomorrow we are going to a party at Nemo with Justin and Megan and I will pretend to be well adjusted and to like snowboarding and house music.
But inside, INSIDE, you will all know that secretly I am thinking about Children of Dune and Spacehunter and things of that nature.
The worst part about shopping today (and don’t get me wrong, I’m female… I LOVE shopping) is we probably have to go to American Apparel and based on my past experiences with how upsetting that store can be, I’ve got a small stomach ache beginning in my appendix area which is becoming angrier and more acidic by the second. I feel like every time I step into an American Apparel, the eight foot tall beautiful hipster elves judge me for I don’t know, liking things I guess, and exercising in a gym on purpose and here I might go off on a mild tangent because last weekend I was running the stairs in the west hills and a kid wearing old corduroys and a ratty yellow sweater and pumas went jogging past me. And he wasn’t just jogging to the bus stop or something - he was WORKING OUT. In his indie uniform. I am so glad I wasn’t the one sitting next to him at Ron Tom’s or wherever later that night.
Hipster bashing aside, (and isn’t it sooo telling about my insecurities and my secret longing to be accepted and blah blah blah) I’m kind of excited to be social this weekend and the people at Nemo are always interesting and Dave (Allen, not the other Dave although that would be awesome too) will be there and Justin and Megan, of course, and we might eat dinner at The Farm tomorrow which will upset Dane because they don’t serve meat and he might accidentally ingest something with vitamins and then The Farm will be sued by a 29 year old lead interactive developer with a cheese fetish.
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10 comments
Gawd I hate American Apparel - they look at me like, “How can you even have the audacity to walk in here - no skinny jeans and you took the time to brush your hair? Get out I say!” Actually, I’m just jealous because I can’t wear their clothes - they just highlight my belly fat, which I lovingly call Jr., but Jr. is shy and doesn’t like to be seen by people.
I can’t go into American Apparel because I like my t-shirts made by little Chinese children in factories. Also, I don’t look good in jewel tones.
Glamor alert!
Ignor’nt question time, but why go to this place if they make y’all feel dirty, fat, and old?
Kiala: Imagine working at Nemo. Its like LIVING at AA. So much so - we actually make company wide AA orders. Im not kidding.
I find that I’m becoming more and more intimidated when I go out shopping.
I’m considering making my own stuff out of things I find around the house instead…like a bra made of dixie cups and kitchen twine.
Oh no, I wear american apparel. and skinny jeans. but i am nice and don’t cry black tears and dont have tons of feelings or cut myself. but i wish my lawn did.
BA-ZING!
Wait, you’re not a hipster? How could I have been so wrong? Or maybe hipster means something else on the west coast.
Maybe you’re just “hip,” and that’s unimpeachable.
I’m always so confused about when hipsters started to exist and where they originated. There were young people drinking PBR and wearing trucker hats and thin T-shirts in Boston like 6 years ago, but there aren’t very many hipsters in Boston anymore really. But Chicago where I live now is fullllllllll of hipsters. Where did they all come from? Do they spawn out of American Apparel?
I think they gestate every five years or so and then hatch. Like moths. And Urban Outfitters is their flame.
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