I have a theory about Battlestar Galactica.
God, I know. I KNOW what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “hmm…her apartment doesn’t look like someone’s dirty basement” and “but she has never once alluded to her unfortunate virginity or her Spacehunter Fan Fiction or her job at CompUSA during the entire time I’ve been reading this blog. I’M CONFUSED.” And I totally understand your confusion but STILL, I have a theory about the pantheon and general themes of BSG and I would like to share it with you mostly because you won’t care and on Fridays I like to talk about nerd things.
My theory goes like this: All the humans on BSG were once cylons and all cylons were once human. The cycle continues again and again until, I don’t know, maybe some kind of nirvana is reached or they all ascend to a different celestial plane or WHAT HAVE YOU. Pick your religion. It’s one of them. But that’s it in a nutshell.
DISCUSS.
Oh, and maybe Starbuck is The Buddha. She’s some kind of Messiah anyway.
DISCUSS SOME MORE.
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28 comments
nerd alert
I refuse to discuss this any further. Im wearing a charcoal v-neck sweater and retro Nikes for christ sake. Do you know what would happen if people found I was even talking to this blog?
Don’t make me nerdy. You wouldn’t like me when I’m nerdy.
And then the POOOOR did this really fucked up POOOOR thing and I was all, I’m going to beat your ass.
I relate to abusing people less fortunate than I am, more than BSG. Sorry, I was just trying to make this post make sense to my tiny girl brain…
Yup, that’s exactly what I was thinking. Am thinking, actually. Nerd.
oh kiala.
I… I just don’t know about this.
Screw you hippies. This is totally in a nerd’s wheelhouse.
Except the Starbuck as Buddha thing. The lady Starbuck is another effort by the man to keep another brother down. Dirk Benedict was, is, and always shall be the only Starbuck.
Please, someone stop me… I don’t know how much longer I can contain the nerdliness.
And Han shot first.
Fuck, I can’t stop.
This is like my theory about The Matrix, where I thought that what really happened is that the humans created the robot-made-dream-world because we’re so damned lazy. Then the Wachowskis went and got all Jesus on me. So let’s not get into the Buddha thing, ok? The writers might actually pick up on it, and I think we know where that road leads. To The Matrix Revolutions.
so does a skinny or light mean that our faith is waning and Buddha is actually on a diet. As carbon based life forms; shouldn’t we be having more carbs not less. I think Starbucks is more pantheistic given the infinite variety of ways to caffinate or decaffinate one-self. Indoctrinate. Beats me.
Justin-
The lady Starbuck is AWESOME. As is the lady Boomer. SHE IS THE MOST ADORABLE CYLON EVER.
Anywho. I’m just saying we know one thing. She leads the people to their destruction or something…or the end of mankind. What does that mean? I think she’s totally the savior and this is the final round on the karmic wheel for the human/cylon/chicken/ egg thing.
On a lighter note, I just went to Aveda and got my hair done. It’s shiny.
Alright, hold on just one goddamn second here. There’s Spacehunter fan fiction? Oh please tell me that’s true. And if it isn’t true, please write some. You know I saw that movie with my parents once. In 3-motherfuckin’-D. Best Molly Ringwald role ever. But you didn’t list the full title in all its glory: “Space Hunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone”
uh oh. I just recieved a heavenly package from amazon. Inside? Brand new copy of Firefly with 3 UNAIRED EPISODES. It must be nerd Friday.
OMG KELLY!!!
GIVE ME THEM.
Dave, I will write you some Spacehunter fan fiction.
Melissa (not Lion) -
I hear you about the Matrix Revolutions. They were the suckiest with the Jesus.
But I know BSG has some serious Mormon shit going on too.
Don’t get me wrong, lady Starbuck’s a great character. Really grew on me very quickly. They just should have given her a different name so dorks like me wouldn’t be constantly comparing her to the old skool (learned that phrase from MIT, thank you) version. Too gimicky, like a few people sat in a room and brainstormed about all the ways they could make this edgy.
And yes, I still have the creeps from the weird arc between her and Apollo getting groiny.
Oddly, never had a problem with Lady Boomer. She kicks ass.
I’ll tell you what I want. What I want is for the BSG religion crap to be entirely made up by the Cylons to trap the humans. I want it so badly to be a Cylon hoax. But that is just not going to happen.
And wait a second, Justin, your problem is with the lady STARBUCK? What the f about the lady APOLLO, huh? Because he is such a girl I bet he cries into his Kevlar pillow every night, “My dad is so mean, I hate him, I hate him… I love him.”
And also? Just once I want Doc Cottle to leave the room and then come back in and say, “One more thing, Adama, where were you on the night of the 14th?
Nerd. Out.
P.S. I heart boomer.
Holy moley I thought I was a dork, but I feel like King Boner of Boobs Towne in this crowd!
P.S.S. I heart boners.
1. The religion part of the show is super annoying and I would LOVE it if it was a big ol’ Cylon trick instead of something I’m supposed to give a shit about. And there would be more explosions and less trips to the goo-filled wading pool.
2. The longer Starbuck’s hair gets, the less I like her.
3. I hate Callie more than anything. She’s a petulant little whore.
4. I have a BSG button on my jacket. It’s hidden by the collar. But yes. It’s there.
I HATE CALLIE. We call her indie rock in our house and mostly, I hate her for tricking Chief into marrying her by getting pregnant because he is MY MAN.
Personally, I also can’t stand The Sex Cylon. Or the Xena Cylon.
But I think we can all agree the only good Apollo…is a fat Apollo.
Also, BSG button. AWESOME. Gimme.
RE: Fat Apollo. My favorite line in the whole show: “Get your fat ass out of my office.” Also, I would like to punch Callie in the throat. With my foot.
OMG Sy. I would pay you to do that. Cash money.
1) Does anyone notice that the younger Adama is (as in, say, flashback sequences) the more Mexican he is? It’s pretty sweet. And I’m certain it’ll play a role in season 4.
2) I have a friend who has a HUGE crush on Callie. It’s a complete fucking mystery to me.
3) Alison, next time I see you, I’m popping your collar. Just FYI.
4) Here’s my theory:
The show is actually happening. Like, ACTUALLY happening, right now, somewhere in space. And when they eventually FIND Earth, the discovery of earth will happen at the exact moment that the ACTUAL Battlestar jumps into our ACTUAL orbit, and it turns out the whole thing is a documentary.
(My fantasies are the BEST fantasies.)
It does explain Starbuck’s knowledge of earth. She was clearly here when she did those three ill-conceived episodes of “Bionic Woman”
This is the best thread EVER!
Alison-
1. What I want is the humans to be like- “Wow, you’re right, there IS only one god.” And then the Cylons to be like, “Ha ha, suckuhhhs! You fall for that every cycle…”
2. Apparently, for Starbuck, bad hair extensions = pity party for one. Short hair = superior kick boxing skills.
3. Hey, Callie a.k.a Indie Rock: Less whining, more shutting up. Remember when Chief ‘accidently’ beat the crap out of her? “Oh! I was DREAMING.” Hilarious. Then he felt so bad, he married her. Less hilarious.
4. Oooo oooo! Like the SS officers only it’s for secret sci-fi love instead of infringement of human rights. Awesome.
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