I FORGOT I AM MARRIED.
We’re going to see Dan Kennedy tonight at Powells and I plan on touching him somehow. Inappropriately, if at all possible. On the penis, is what I’m trying to say.
I think the best thing for me to do would be to sidle up to him and say, “I don’t know if you know, but I write a blog.” And then I assume he will want to read it immediately on his iPhone, at which point, I’ll just hang back casually sipping something like a latte or no, not a latte because that will give me coffee breath so maybe green tea or just, you know, whiskey straight from the bottle until he looks up from reading and gazes full into my face for about 5 minutes before he says, “I’m going to cover you in diamonds and whisk you away from all of this, this, dirt and poverty.”
And then Dane will cough politely from behind me and I will tell him, “You are now free to seek out Zooey Deschanel - GO WITH GOD.”
UPDATE: Dan Kennedy info for the illiterate elite…
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11 comments
Being… “unliterary” I had to do a Google Image Search for Dan Kennedy and this is who I got:
http://www.red-hot-copy.com/pix/Dan%20Kennedy/dan%20teaching.JPG
“red hot” indeed!!!
Oh. I did a little more reading on him, and I’ve listened to interview with this man and read some stuff by him.
I’m literally literary!
i’m with robert, i am no where near cool enough to know who those people are.
or maybe i’m too cool to know who they are.
i think that’s it.
It’s true you learn something new every day - I am illiterate. But I am definitely going to read his books - the link was excellent. Or should I say sexcellent? Good luck with the penis touching!
Be careful. I think that scary bearded guy in your pictures is a friend of Dane’s and might rat you out. Unless Dane is actually standing behind you at the time of said touching.
Either way, be careful.
Damn. I really would like to see the penis touching go down, but I’m staying in my ‘hood tonight working on my own novel because it’s my goal in life to have Kiala Krazybee want to touch my penis.
Dane and I have a lot in common, including our list of celebrities we’d immediately leave our wife/girlfriend for.
Like I said to Charley one evening, I used to have a list, but I’m not 17 anymore. I now only have a list for those I would star in my movie about orphans and heists and disguises. You may or may not know who these individuals are. I may or may not tell.
First of all, who the fuck is Zooey Deschanel? (Yeah, I could google it, but I just don’t care). Second, exactly Isabelle. Celebrity crush lists are definitely the fodder of 17 year old misplaced romanticism. But orphans, heists and disguises… well that shit is timeless. Especially if the orphans are pulling the heists and wearing the disguises… and also maybe they have magic powers… and X-wing fighters.
Alright, I just googled it. Oh… her. Yeah, love her. She was definitely the best thing about “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Crawford”, which was pretty much the “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead” of Westerns. Arty Westerns and arty gangster films… they shouldn’t be allowed.
I don’t disagree that celebrity crush lists are mostly for 17-year-olds, but that’s because they’re usually so impractical. Now that we live in L.A. where all the beautiful stars are, I just think it can’t hurt to be prepared. You know?
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