I am maybe a little awkward but not like a gazelle, more like a whatever the inoffensive equivalent of retard is. Like that.
I met Melissa Lion for lunch yesterday at the Everett St. Bistro and I was really nervous which is totally normal for me. I think I just get nervous around new people or people who are not Dane or people who look at me with their eyes or perceive my existence in any way. I used to get nervous playing Scattegories or Monopoly with Pip, Charley, Dave, and Serena which is just STUPID because hanging out with them was basically like mainlining sunshine and vodka. Obviously, this goes a long way towards explaining the boxes and boxes of Sci-Fi/Fantasy books in our hall closet.
Melissa was super nice and relaxed and she had a beer and I tried to order a glass of wine but our waiter just walked away from me. Seriously. He asked if we were ready to order and Melissa said, “I’ll have a Red Hook” and he asked me the same thing and I said, “Not food yet, but - ” and then he shunned me. He turned his back on me and I was shunned. I don’t know why he did this except I suspect it had something to do with his heart being made of stone and also that he probably has Herpes and was weary of the shame.
Anyway, I finally did get my glass of wine and we ordered some food and irritated the fuck out of our waiter by not leaving when he wanted us to leave and I don’t give a shit because it was fun and so awesome to meet another person who does what I do, only, you know, WAY BETTER , and I spent a great deal of time handwriting a thank you note to the Internet but when I tried to shove it through the harddrive I became extremely frustrated, so I wrote this instead. Because fuck you Internet. You can’t have nice things.
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12 comments
Sunshine and vodka? I have to say that my usual pairing with vodka is either shame or misplaced ambition. I’ll have to try sunshine some time.
Sometimes I like to mix my vodka with klonopin and grandiose ideas, followed shortly with disillusionment.
I call this drink a ” Manic Medoyeff”.
I like to start my evenings with vodka and escapism and add a pinch of contrived rebellion. Unfortunately, those evenings usually end with vodka and urine… my urine.
okay, a little off topic but:
you and dane are big sci-fi/fantasy fans, so my question to you both is - have you ever seen “Time Bandits?”
I ask because very few people in my life have seen this movie, let alone liked it. I loved it - written by monty python dudes with a sprinkle of sean connery!
also, what about “Krull?” That is one amazing film. A movie based around a big ass ninja star!
A ninja star!!!
My husband found your blog from the Dooce comments and he linked me. He knew that I would like your blog and what do you know, I do! You are so funny and entertaining. I look forward to going through and reading some of your older posts, I need something to do at work besides work.
Chris -
Are you kidding? Krull and Time Bandits are like Geek Canon. I love them.
Shala -
The idea of you doing any work while at work breaks my heart a little. I won’t let you down, Shala. Promise.
He did it because he wishes he was me.
Yes, Matt. I’m sure that’s what he was wishing.
I think also he was wishing he could set me on fire with his eyes.
How come no one has posted that you got to hang out with me? ME! And they’d be like, did you get her autograph? Did you tattoo her name on your arm? Are you going to marry her?
No, but seriously folks, we had a great time! The waiter was a total douche. So damn funny. Kiala, I’d like your autograph, on my breast, and then I’d go to a tattoo place and have them permanently etch it on my skin. And then maybe I’ll propose.
MELISSA LION! Did you get her autograph?
…too late?
…. i tried.
I remember the first time I met Miss Lion… so exciting. Isn’t she the coolest of the cool? Have her make you some mexican food sometime…
I am totally going to have her make me some mexican food. That is a good idea.
And yes, she is cool!
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