I would like to read some blogs please.
First, a few things I should clear up.
One, I do not - excuse me, we do not - have kids. We are not planning on having kids either….ever. We think your kids are great, especially the way they stay at your house and don’t live with us. That is adorable.
Two, I would never feed chocolate to a dog or cat. Normally, I just give them apples or yogurt if they’re really jonesing for something sweet after a bong hit. That’s just how I do it. You do it your way.
And three, I exercise. All the goddamn time. It’s annoying, but I do it. Also, we don’t have a car so I really have no other choice but to walk everywhere. I don’t mind this. I’m just letting you know before you all get together and form some kind of intervention where you come into my living room and make me get off the couch because my inactivity is causing grief and hearttache to my friends and family.
I do sit on the couch for the better part of most days but THAT IS MY JOB. I just make sure and get up every 15 minutes or so and do a couple hundred push ups followed by a line of cocaine. My body is my temple, people. I treat it as such.
Okay, now that I’ve gotten that ugly business out of the way, I have a favor to ask you all. I have spent an inordinate amount of time searching the Web for really good, interesting Portland blogs. Thank Jesus, I found Melissa Lion’s blog right away, otherwise I probably would’ve given up, eaten a whole pie and gone to sleep depressed and angry. She is an excellent writer and uses all her describing words, which is something I’m not so good at. Yet.
So please, if any of you can point me to some well written, personal, funny, or just interesting blogs, I will buy you a pony.
And by “buy you a pony” I mean “not buy you a pony”.
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15 comments
You are so damn funny. One day I’ll be funny like you. And one day you’ll do two lines of blow every fifteen minutes like I do. But when we’re both doing blow off the backs of toilet seats and making out with Backstreet Boys, let’s promise that we won’t let anything get in the way of our friendship because I see us as Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton and that best friend break up nearly broke m’damn heart. Not like we’re best friends, but when we actually meet, I’ll bet we’ll have a good laugh. Which is more than I can say for that time Paris mistakenly thought Lindsay Lohan would be as cool as Nicole Richie and she. totally. wasn’t.
Yes, yes! Also…Britney Spears. Britney Spears was no Nicole Richie. Poor Paris.
Anyway, I agree with everything you said. And you are the funny one.
ok Ok OK OKAY STOP IT!
We all know Dane Cook and Jeff Foxworthy are the funny ones, so stop competing.
Meanwhile:
On the point of exercise, (which I always have to spellcheck):
I don’t like. No sir. Not one bit. I like the idea of it. But I found the best way to lose weight is to have a really bad breakup. Why.. my last one I lost 15 pounds! It has been years since I’ve had a bad breakup, and it is really starting to show. Hello “love” and goodbye pounds!
Look for my video series soon.
I always think exercise is spelled excerise. What’s up with that?
E and R before C except after X
And sometimes S Matt!!!.
AND SOMETIMES S.
sexcersize?
Yes, Matt. That’s exactly what I meant.
I like to think my blog is funny and interesting. Plus, I occasionally post comics. And it’s quite Portland-centric.
Peter, we’ll be the judge of that.
well, I’m not Portland-centric, I’m NY-centric, but I just wanted to say that my girlfriend directed me to your blog and it’s very funny.
i’ll be dropping by and posting witty and amusing comments in the future.
it’ll be great.
really.
Thank you Peter. And thank you Chris. I’m totally looking forward to both things.
Ha. Peter Criss.
Hi, I found your blog through Kath Eats and I think you are really funny, at least I do now that I know you are kidding…you’re kidding right?
Anyway, I think you might like this blog, but if you don’t please don’t hate me…I find it funny and wonderful.
http://www.thepioneerwoman.com
Oh thanks Megan! I’ll check it out.
And of course, I’m kidding. Silly.
well, i don’t normally, erm, “pimp” my site out, but since it is solicited info… i’ve been told it’s “mildly amusing” and an “interesting diversion” ( if there isn’t a new episode of “what not to wear” on TLC) by one or two of my readers, which is about the total readership.
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