Deadlines are HARD.

6 am is a ridiculous time for anyone to do anything. How do birds and bus drivers and old people do it? The only coherent thing I could say this morning was, “gah” and that doesn’t really mean anything. Except maybe to old people. They have their own language, you know. For instance, “Would you like to see a movie this weekend?” is roughly translated as “Gah, dentures” (sucky dentures noise) “Lawrence Welk” (smiling towards a wall) “gah talkies?”

I’ve traveled quite extensively, so I know what I’m talking about.

This morning I had to get up with Dane - IT WAS STILL DARK OUT - and start writing my review for First Sunday. I don’t want to give anything away but Stupid Piece of Trash Not Worth The Time It Would Take To Pee All Over It just about sums it up.

Don’t ask me how I would pee all over a movie. I will do whatever it takes to get my point across. I am a lady. Motherfuckers.

Anyway, I think? the review came out fine. I’m not sure yet. We’ll have to see what Erik says. This one was 300 words which is many more words than the 50 I was doing before. At least, let’s see - add the five, carry the zero - at least FIVE MILLION more words.

I’ve traveled extensively, so I know what I’m talking about.

The screening was interesting. It was put on by Jammin 95.5 (gawd) and Dane and I sat next to the very serious Willamette Week guy. I had something in my eye for the first half of the film which was a bitch. Also, every single resident of Gresham was sitting in the audience. Luckily, security confiscated their cell phones. But not mine. I guess they figured I’d need it to light my notebook. Which I forgot. Instead, I just stabbed myself repeatedly in the hand with my pen to keep awake. Very effective.

I’ve traveled extensively, so I know what I’m talk- ok, I’ll stop.