The Horror!
Two weeks ago I went with my mom to a farm in Hillsboro to get us a Christmas tree. It was super easy and a nice man who didn’t speak much english bundled them up in some twine or ribbon or sheepgut or spit or something (farms are so quaint) so they’d be easy for me to carry. After I got ours home and into the stand without ANY CURSING WHATSOEVER (Ok… maybe one Goddamnit - just to get into the spirit of the thing), Dane came home and we decorated it with some silly rose shaped lights and a bunch of ornaments and bells and it smelled so fantastic. We were all very very pleased.
And then came the SPIDERS.
Little back spiders.
I don’t care how small they are. They are still spiders with all the legs and the biting and the just not ok to live in my worldness of them and they are ruining…RUINING..my Christmas. I can’t decide if we should just throw the thing out or wait until they all die. I mean, how many can there be? The internet tells me they can’t live indoors for very long. But still…what if that’s true but they can say, live inside my ear just fine? What about that?
What would you guys do?
Arthur…living dangerously -
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3 comments
I was going to suggest putting Arthur on spider detail, but it looks like you’re already on that. Hmmm. Idea! Get yourself some flies or cockroaches or mosquitoes–some other little pest that you really hate. Then the spiders will eat them and you’ll cultivate a mutual respect for one another.
Excellent idea. One problem. Dane and I are on a diet and cockroaches are so difficult to resist….and so fattening!
You looked up the spiders online…? Hee hee hee. What you need to do is get yourself some jumping spiders. They’re very intelligent, and they tend to eat other house spiders by jumping on them… and eating them. Of course, then you’re left with a bunch of hungry jumping spiders, who can easily jump onto your bed, or into your ears. Alright, so I didn’t think that plan out very well. What about scorpions…?
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